Shedding Light on The Lamps Family

Monday, Monday

2012-02-06T08:28:00.000-08:00

WOW! That's all I have to say about how last Monday (January 30th) went! It wasn't just a regular Monday it was Ellie's 3rd birthday and Uncle Ethan was flying in. I had the whole day planned out this was the plan:

6-7:15 a.m. Get up take the kids to school
7:30-8:30 a.m. Shower get ready and take Ellie for her birthday hair cut
9a.m. Get Ellie's hair cut
10-11a.m. come home clean,make the cake
11a.m. lay Ellie down for a nap
11a.m.-1:30p.m. wrap presents, frost cake, put up birthday decorations
1:45p.m. wake up Ellie
2:15p.m.Get the kids from school, run to the dollar store for balloons
3-4p.m. help kids with homework
4-5 p.m.get the kids rooms clean and the rest of the house tidy
5-6:30 p.m. relax before meeting daddy and Uncle Ethan at Organ Stop Pizza
7-8 p.m.Have dinner come home, open presents, eat cake and put the kids to bed.
8:30 p.m. pass out from exhaustion

This is how the day really went:
Woke up at 6:30 instead of 6, got the kids up and going around 6:45, they took FOREVER to get dressed, by the time they were dressed and hair was done it was 7:10, they had 5 mins to eat before we had to leave so pop tarts for breakfast it was.
7:20-8a.m ish got everyone in the car and off we went to drop the kids off, dropped them off at 7:30, then ran to Walmart for a couple of essential things then home
8:30- 9a.m. Showered got ready to go
9-9:30a.m. chased Ellie around the house and got her dressed.....again. Headed out the door to get the hair cut when suddenly I heard grunting, and a "uh, oh I poop" from Ellie, she didn't just poop she had explosive diarrhea!
9:30-10a.m. gave Ellie another bath and got her dressed.....again this time I had her wear a pull up "just in case"
10a.m. Finally got out the door and on our way
10:30a.m.- 12p.m. got Ellie's hair cut, she did great I meant to take pictures but I forgot. After her hair cut we stayed awhile and let Ellie play(it was at a gal's house, and there were oh so many toys), while I talked to this gal that has a son that sounds just like Kaleb, it was great getting to know her.
12 p.m. - 12:30 p.m. drove home and Ellie fell asleep in the car instead of risking waking her up to carry her into the house, we stayed in the car with windows open while she napped.
1:30p.m. finally woke up Ellie went into the house long enough for potty breaks and a quick bite to eat then headed to get the kids
2:15- 3p.m. picked the kids up from school, came home remembered I needed to go to the $1 store turned around went back out, hit the $1 store waited for ever for them to change out their helium only to find out the girl who thought it was empty didn't know the valve was turned off! Got the balloons went home
3:30-4p.m. got home decided to check mail, turned off car, checked mail got back into car tried to turn it on and NOTHING, not a sound, nothing worked, battery died CRAP! Made the grumpy kids get out of the car and walk home ( we were lucky we even got to our neighborhood), let the manager know that my car was the one in front of the mail box dead.
4-4:30p.m. ~~yelled~~ asked the kids nicely to get started on their homework, while I went out and found someone to jump my car for me. Luckily my neighbors husband had just gotten home from work. Went to jump the car only to realize the cables are in the trunk and the only way to open the trunk is with electricity CRAP, I had to climb my big butt back there move all the ~~crap~~ tables that were in the way and get the cables, finally got the car jumped drove it home
4:30p.m. talked to the hubs he was coming home to help, I may have gotten mad at him on the phone cause I was a little overwhelmed, I still hadn't made the cake, cleaned the house completely, wrapped presents, helped kids with homework or decorated for Ellie's birthday and I didn't know how I was gonna manage all that and get a new battery for the car to meet the guys for dinner. Made cupcakes, helped kids with the homework they never started and started cleaning up the house while we waited for the hubs to get home.
5-5:30p.m. the hubs got home the neighbor helped him get the battery out, he took it to checkers they were super busy said it would be an 1/2 hr before they could even test it, so he left it there and went to the airport to get Uncle Ethan. Got a call from checkers the battery was deader than dead. Called Dane told him to just pick up pizza on the way home, along with frosting for the cupcakes cause I didn't want to make any.
5:30-7p.m. Mean while the kids and I got the house clean, not polished till I could see my face in the floor clean, but clean enough, got the presents wrapped
7-8p.m. we waited for the guys to get home, I had to hold off the extremely hungry kiddos from eating the cupcakes, and opening Ellie's presents
8-10p.m.the guys got home we cooked the pizza while they went out to put the battery in the car, we ate cake and opened presents, got the oh so tired, I don't want to go to bed kids in bed
10p.m.- 12a.m. watched a movie, then went to bed and passed out from exhaustion knowing that tomorrow the kids were going to be a pain in my bum cause they didn't get enough sleep and had tutoring early in the morning!

It was quite the day and I didn't mention, there are no pictures cause I couldn't find the camera, when I did finally find the camera the memory card was full and I couldn't find the spare. Dana did take some pictures and video with his cell phone when I figure out how I will post them on here.

The kids were oblivious to the day I was having, Ellie had a blast and enjoyed every minute of the day, especially when she got cake and presents. Hopefully next year will go a little smoother! I can't believe my baby is 3, she is getting to be such a big girl, she seems to have finally gotten the idea of going potty in the toilet, and let's me know very vocally (especially when it's explosive diarrhea) which is awesome I was getting to the point were I thought she would never get it. She is talking up a storm, she copies EVERYTHING anyone says, she's quite funny when she gets mad she stomps her foot and glares at you, nine times out of ten she hurts herself when she does it! She loves to help do the dishes and laundry, she's a great help around the house (most the time), she loves playing with her brother and sister.

I will blog about the rest of the week, it did get better which was awesome!

Christmas Day

2011-12-28T07:30:00.000-08:00

The kids were up at 5:30 a.m. yup you read right 5:30 A.M.!! Let's just say Dane and I weren't very pleased especially since we didn't get to bed till 1a.m. anyway we were able to hold them off till 6 impressive eh? Anyway they sat patiently for me to get the camera;

Don't ya just love the look on Kaleb's face? Ellie was perfectly happy with the candy she got in her sock, forget the playdough and other toys! We had them line up youngest to oldest Kaleb was a little put out by that he thinks it should be by gender, boys in front girls in back! The second Dane opened the bedroom door the kids charged this was the best pic I could get;

Now much to their surprise they didn't see their typical unwrapped Santa gift with their sock next to it, but there was a note hanging from the light. Now I figured when they didn't see their normal gifts they would be upset but they weren't Kaleb explained that the note must say that "I was been a good boy this year!", here's what the note said;

To the Lamps children 3,
just between you and me,
My sack was full I couldn't get in.
What could I do? I said with a grin.
I sat awhile and thought about you,
then it came to me just what to do.
You have been good the whole year through,
so I left something you all could do.
If you will run fast out the back door,
you'll see more than you asked for.
I hope you like it have fun and share,
be good to each other and always play fair.

Santa

The rhyme was courtesy of grandma Clause! Anyway you can guarantee my kids rushed to get their shoes on, again as soon as the door was opened they charged, I wasn't quick enough to get in front of them to get a first look reaction but Kaleb's words summed it up " a PARK in our yard! We have a PARK in our YARD!!!!" of course he was speaking of this swing set;

Santa done did good with the swing set! So the kids played for a bit while Dane and I froze our bums off, once we got everyone inside we let the kids open their socks and 2 presents before church the first being their church clothes the second their secret Santa gifts.

Now there is a little story that goes with the girls dresses, I had been working on them in secret while the kids were at school, but one day I accidentally left some evidence as to what I was up too Ryne quickly surmised that I was making dresses for them so I came up with a quick fib I said I was making them for a friends little girls that were the same age as my girls yeah Harlee and Jordyn were gonna be some lucky girls (I hope ya don't mind Kym :) ). Needless to say Ryne was a little let down but she still thought the dresses were gonna be neat and was soon excited to see the final product. Now I know ya shouldn't lie but this turned out to be the best thing, cause I wasn't able to get them done before the kids were out of school for winter break so I was able to work on them in front of the girls without having to worry.

Kaleb's out fit was a different story I didn't even have his cut out yet! I was able to get his vest done after the kids were in bed on the 23rd. Dana took Kaleb to run some last minute errands on the 24th I had about an hr to get the pants and bow tie done! I didn't have a pattern for the pants so I pulled a pair from his closet that fit pretty good except the length and went off of those, I have to say they turned out super nice Kaleb was thrilled to have more church pants "and these ones are long!".

So after the kids opened their presents we got everyone ready for church, I did simple french twists in the girls hair, I curled some pieces around their face and called it good. When I was getting Ellie in her dress she smiled and said "pincess, I pincess?" I thought it was so cute and once that dress was on and zipped up she was twirlin around in circles! I wanted to get pics of them BEFORE we went to church when they looked their best, but we were runnin a little late (Ryne and I were suppose to be early for choir) so I had to settle for after church pics. They were excited to get home to open their presents that I couldn't get them to look at the stinkin camera and smile! We took several shots I finally just gave up and and figured I would work with what I got.

Yeah I didn't have much to work with! Now this is where the pics end cause I didn't take any of them opening the rest of their presents I know an epic mom FAIL!! But know they were thrilled with all their stuff even if most of it was clothes! After presents were open we made our traditional Christmas breakfast complete with little piggies (sausage links) and homemade buttermilk syrup ( thanks sis for the recipe it was delicious)! After breakfast or rather brunch Ellie and I took naps while Dane and the other kids watched some of the movies we got.

We had a great Christmas, Dane and I each only got one present so the kids would have what they needed but ya know I was thrilled with what I got and so was Dana. Dana got a wet/dry vac and I got a beautiful Nativity set. Oh and we also got this painting from my brother-in-law Mike isn't it awesome!?

A BIG thanks to grandma Nancy and grandpa Bill for getting us started with the essential oils and to Uncle Dave and Aunt Becky for the pure vanilla! We hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and we wish you the best in the upcoming new year!

Christmas Eve

2011-12-27T16:17:00.000-08:00

We were super busy Christmas Eve, I was finishing up Kaleb's church clothes, Dane and Kaleb were doing some last minute shopping, once everyone was home the baking commenced. After baking and delivering our Christmas treats the kids took baths and then got to open their Christmas jammies which was delightful!

Once they were open we made many attempts to get a nice pic of them in front of the tree, we took so many I had to start deleting them because of lack of memory. This was like attempt 10!!

Attempt..... I don't know I lost count!

This was the final one I took and like attempt 20 ,instead of saying cheese Dane said cookies now that got their attention!

After taking a million pics in front of the tree we did the kids favorite tradition of jumping on the bed and singing Ti's Christmas Eve Dear Santa Clause.

It was a riot watching Ellie trying to jump with Ryne and Kaleb we had to make the older kids stop so Ellie could get in some quality jumping time! One of the best things about the kids jumping on the bed is how much energy it gets out, they all went to bed without a fuss it was fantastic!

Trunk Show

2011-12-07T07:05:00.000-08:00

Come check it out, I will have my stuff there!!

8 years!!!

2011-11-29T13:43:00.000-08:00

Today Dana and I celebrate our 8th year anniversary!!

I have to say this year has been the toughest and best year. We have been through a lot this year for anyone who doesn't know we had 2 miscarriages one in Sept 2010 (6weeks) and February 2011(16 weeks a boy), my heart ~~broke~~ shattered. Dana picked up all the pieces and is helping me put them back together, this is the hardest trial we have had to endure so far in our marriage but it has made us stronger and brought us close together as a couple and a family.

The other day Ellie was watching one of her princess movies the line "true love conquers all" stood out in my mind I know there are many times when I have laughed at this and never really taken it seriously. As I look back at this year I can truly say I feel that our love for each other did conquer this trial, love does make you stronger, even though we struggled our love held us together. Our love grew stronger, we have a much deeper appreciation and understanding of each other now than we did before. I am so blessed to have Dana in my life to love me and to pick me up when I am down, our marriage is far from perfect we make mistakes and we have our trials but that's part of the journey if everything was easy then what would we learn? Happy 8 years to my hubby Dana Lamps I love you and can't wait for more years to come!

ALA Holiday Boutique

2011-11-19T06:00:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna be at this boutique today come see me and all the beautiful crochet Christmas Ornaments I made just for this even!

Diagnosis & more details.

2011-11-11T09:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's appointment was very informational and not as terrifying as I had geared up for. The Dr. was very thorough, she answered all of our questions and concerns, she didn't talk down to us or say we were imagining things. She thinks Kaleb is a good and intelligent little boy, very funny and imaginative, she had fun working with him. We talked of many things and really focused on our biggest concerns his ad-version to other kids, his lack of focus, his constant leg pain and occasional involuntary movements, and his sensory issues.

As she observed while we talked she determined that ADHD is definitely a factor, but it isn't the only factor he scored way above normal on the autism evaluation form he has many autistic tendencies she explained the Autism Spectrum to us and thinks he is some were between Autism and PDD-NOS. At first sight she said he looks more like Aspergers but doesn't quite fit into the category because of his speech and language delays which are not typical in children with Aspergers. She explained that the ADHD can also be the cause of his language and social delays it could be that he is active and inattentive, so it may not be that he doesn't have any empathy for others, or can't read social cues, it could be that he is on the go all the time and doesn't stop and wait for a reaction or response from others.

We also have Kaleb's sensory issues that make a diagnosis difficult, she mentioned that it sounded like sensory integration disorder but this isn't really a diagnosis and there isn't much to be done for it, he will just have to learn how to live with it. Along with the sensory issues we have the leg problems he complains often of his legs hurting it seems deep pressure is the only thing that gives relief and usually just briefly, now this can be many things he could have Anemia, it could be related to his Thyroid, Restless Leg Syndrome could also be a factor, or he could just be lacking certain vitamins that his body needs, she will be order some lab work to find out more but wants to wait till after he has been tested for Autism in-case any more work needs to be added.

By the end of the appointment ADHD was given as one diagnosis, we know that won't be the only one he has but it does give us a starting point. She gave us information on ADHD and things that can help, she recommended change of diet, and visual charts to help him with tasks,she also wants him the have speech and OT therapy aside from school, specifically to work with his sensory issues, at this point we aren't doing meds because along with the above mentioned issues (anemia, thyroid, RLS) we have bi-polar tendencies and depression in our family's background that could be affected by medications for the bad as much as the good. I like that his Dr. stresses is that medications are not a cure, they are not meant to make your child into a zombie, they are meant to be used as a tool along with other tools (therapy, diet change etc) to help him to learn self control.

As you have probably notice this is A LOT of info to take in, I want to educated myself as much as I can before our next appointment, if you have or know someone that knows about any of the things mentioned above I would love for you to share. I'm also looking for any websites or books on these topics, if you have any recommendations I would greatly appreciate it.

I am so thankful to my family and many friends that have showed us support and given us uplifting words of advise, you truly are my strength! I am "overwhelmed and relieved" as a friend of mine put it, what seemed impossible to handle before seems doable now, we have some answers and a place to start, we are going to have to make a lot of adjustments as a family but I know we can. I have felt a renewal of hope since yesterdays appointment, things will get better.

2011-11-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

November 10th has been a long awaited day, it's the day we take Kaleb to a specialist. We have had the appointment for months and have been wanting it to come and go, things with Kaleb have gotten intense, frustrating and sometimes even impossible. I love my son, it is really hard to see how much he struggles with everyday things that most kids don't even have to think about. I hate seeing how people young and old look at him as if he has the plague, it breaks my heart to see him off in a corner by himself then playing with other kids. He is already very aware that he is different that people look down at him because he doesn't do things "the proper way". He comes home from school almost everyday sad that some of the kids in a class call him a baby cause he sucks his thumb or weird because he has a hair fetish, they don't understand that sucking his thumb is something at this point in his life calms him down and brings him back to reality, and rubbing and playing with hair is much like a comfort blanket or favorite stuffed animal it makes him feel safe and gives him comfort, he doesn't do it to be weird he does it because he can't help it and he doesn't know what else to do.

I hate how my son won't even look me in the eyes, that he can't concentrate on simple tasks, that he is constantly saying that he hates his sisters because they aren't like him and realizing he doesn't like himself because he isn't like them. I hate how he cries at night because his legs hurt and won't stop moving, how anything sets him off you never know what to say or how to comfort him and dammit I want to comfort my child when he is upset! We desperately need help there is something wrong with my child and he needs help, understanding and compassion. It's funny to me how people don't give those things unless there is an obvious reason too, they have to see a physical problem and that's not fair, but then again when is life fair? I dislike that in order to have people give my son a fair chance at life he needs to be labeled, he needs to have something wrong with him. I'm not taking him to the Dr. to have him labeled for other people but for me and for him so that we can know how to help him and so that he will know that a label doesn't define him, he may be autistic or ADD/ADHD but that isn't who he is he can overcome it and do whatever he wants in life regardless of the label and what others think.

Kaleb has the most incredible imagination, he dreams up the funniest and coolest things at the drop of a hat, he sees things differently, he can take a stressful situation and turn it into a happy one, he has the ability to make me laugh in an instant. I love how he plays with my hair and tells me he loves me, I love how sensitive he his to his sisters, how he's willing to give up something to make someone else happy, I love how he is active, healthy and strong, how he is a new super hero everyday, I love the big words he uses and knows the meanings of. I love my son, he may be corky, different, and a little odd but I love him for who he is, he wouldn't be Kaleb without the good and bad traits.

I'm anxious and a little scared about tomorrow's appointment, no one wants to be told there is something wrong with their child. I've realized that I've always known that Kaleb was different I just haven't known how to help him. This appointment is to know how to better help him, to make him successful in life, I know it's going to be a long hard road with lot's of obstacles to get over but I know with help we can get through it.

HaPpY HOWL- O -WEEN!!

2011-11-01T13:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was such a fun day, I have to admit I wasn't really looking forward to how busy the day was going to be, but everything turned out great!

First up for kicking off a fun Halloween day was the kids class parties. I volunteered in Kaleb's classroom cause I was able to take Ellie with me. Kaleb was the first to get to play pin the stem on the pumpkin, he was thrilled!

So close!!!

I snuck out of Kaleb's party and ran to Ryne's to get some pics. She's showing me her finger puppet bat. Her class went around each desk and went trick or treating she as so thrilled!

Ellie even made out with a bag of treats!!

After the festivities were over we headed home were I made the kids do their homework, lame right!! Then I surprised the kids with making pumpkin pizza's for dinner they loved them and we all had fun making them.

Ok so they really turned out more like smiley face pizza's but the kids loved them anyway!

After dinner I got started on Ryne's hair and Ellie got a head start on her makeup!

Kaleb decided he wanted me to make him look like Jack Sparrow, so we used some black face paint and some of my makeup and eyeliner for his make up, sorry I don't have a close up pic of his face. Once his face was done and after daddy wiped off Ellie's make up job I re-did her make up, everyone got in their costumes and they were rearin to go!

Dana stayed home and handed out candy this year since I stayed home last year. The kids got a ton of compliments on their costumes. They all did great while trick or treating, Kaleb introduced himself to anyone he didn't know so that they were no longer strangers then he would accept their candy. Ellie ran off once or tried to run off really she turned to run and there was teenager dressed as a zombie it freaked her out and she came runnin back to momma! After we said thank you for the candy Ryne would say "Happy Halloween MUWAAAAAAA!" everyone got a kick out of it. Ellie was a trooper she carried her bag the whole time till the last street, I offered to carry it but she wouldn't let me her solution was to have me carry her while she carried her bag!!

They were all tuckered out when we got home, they all had baths and went right to bed. While Dane and I watched movies I made a comment about how nicely they all went to bed, and of course minutes later Ellie rolled off her bed and was awake till 12:30 a.m.!! Oh well we still had a

2011-09-30T14:38:00.000-07:00

Man it's been awhile since I have posted here on the family blog I have been really busy doing this, this, this, this, this, this and this for my craft blog and there's lot's more to come!

Update on the fam we are all doin good, Dana had yesterday and today off it's been kinda nice havin him around, I know the kids have enjoyed him taking them to school. Yesterday we helped a neighbor pack her moving truck and clean her house, Ellie was so good the whole time, everyone was surprised! After we got done with that went to lunch at AppleBee's Ellie ended up eating my soup and salad instead of her chicken tenders and fries. This morning Dane took all the kids to the Donuts for Dads at the kids school then he took Ellie to run a couple of errands, I have to say it was really nice to have a completely quite house I was able to clean up and get the last of the laundry folded and put away. After Ellie and Dane got home we watched Yogi Bear it was a lot better than I thought it was gonna be, Ellie sat still and watched the whole thing so you know it has to be good!

My hubby showed me how much he loved me by mopping the floors!! It was a surprise to me I didn't even ask, I am so thankful to him for the help especially since I broke my toe a week ago, I accidentally kicked a chair it was pretty mangled Dane had to pop it back into place, I have broken many toes in my life and none have hurt as bad as this, my whole foot was swollen up to my ankle, it's all bruised and super tender I can't even put an ice pack on it without being in a lot of pain, and I have a really high pain tolerance! It was healing pretty good till I kicked a curb a few days ago and mangled it again!

Wednesday night Author Bruce Coville was at the kids school he read them a story and signed some books, Dane took the older to kids (on the count of my broken toe). Dane bought a couple of his books The Dragon of Doom and The Evil Elves (1st and 3rd of the Moongobble and Me series) we had never heard of him before, the kids absolutely LOVE his books even Ellie will beg me to read them! I think we will be getting some more of his books for Christmas and birthdays!

So that's what we have been up too lately I promise I will do better and keep up!!!

Kaleb's mishap and kabobs!

2011-09-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was eventful to say the least! We had been ~~bribing~~ promising the kids all week last week that if they were good all week at home and at school we would take them to McDonald's for happy meals and to play and that mine friends is when the fun started! When I picked up the kids from school last Friday the first thing asked as they jumped in the car was "were we good did we earn our happy meal!?" they said it in unison, even Ellie thought it was amusing. I explained that yes they had earned it but that "today still counts so you have to be good for me till we go, that means no arguing when I ask you to clean your rooms and help tidy the house kapeesh!?" their response again in unison " yeah, hey mom!?" me "what?" them (not so much in unison this time) "what does kapeesh mean?" and of course I answered with a giggle. Back to my story the kids did good before we knew it bedrooms were clean, bathrooms tidy, all dishes collected and floors nicely swept, all that was left was to wait for daddy to get home from work and of course it was one of those days when he had an errand to run before coming home so it took longer and I kept hearing " for cryin out loud when is dad gonna get home?", " for the love of Pete mom is he coming" and my all time fav coming from Kaleb " what the hell mom where the crap is he!?" yeah he did get chastised for cussin it was kind of one of those double standard moments my response was "dammit Kaleb stop cussin!" hey I never said I was runnin for mother of the year!

After 25 mins waiting daddy pulled in the driveway Ellie squealed with delight as the car pulled in and the engine stopped, the other kids shouted with glee as Dane got out of the car they started screaming "yeah now we can go get our happy meals!" we disappointed them by waiting to go it was only 3 and we new if they ate that early they would be hungry right before bed. Finally 4 rolled around and we started gettin ready by that I mean I had tackle the 2 yr old and get her dressed for the 3rd time that day, once she was dressed with hair done and shoes on I headed towards my room to get my shoes and see if the hubs was ready, Kaleb and Ryne were playing in the front room Kaleb was being the Hulk, they were running all over I said many times in that lovingly motherly tone "calm down or we won't go! I SAID CALM DOWN!!!!". They calmed down long enough for me to cross the room the second my back was turned the shenanigans started, I heard Kaleb yell " HULK SMASH!!" followed by a loud CRACK and a blood CURTAILING SCREAM, it's a scream we hear often from Kaleb I new he was hurt but none the less I made a snide comment something like " yeah hulk smashed alright his face" after I saw him holding his head, the comment became UN-funny when he removed his had from his face Dane said he's bleeding I looked up and boy oh boy was he bleeding it was gushin like old faithful!

As soon as Kaleb saw the blood he started to panic which made me more calm, my reaction was to lay him down on my lap, Dane grabbed a wet paper towel which quickly soaked up the blood which calmed everyone down considerably!

Everyone knows head wounds bleed a lot sometimes even from a small cut, we hoped it was just a small cut but of course that wasn't in the cards. It wasn't a huge cut by any means but it wasn't a nice straight cut either it was more V shaped and it was pretty deep too.

I know when Dane and I looked at each other we knew what the other was thinking " we don't have the money to take him to the ER for stitches" our co-pay for the ER is $150 and we just didn't have it, so we took a good look at the, pulled out the First Aide kit and went to work.

We ended up using a butterfly bandage and new skin, it worked really well. Kaleb was pretty upset that everyone would see his cut, or it could have been that we decided it was safer to not let them play at McDonalds all we needed was for him to split it open again! But we made it up by still getting the happy meals and renting a movie, it was actually a nice relaxing night (well you know relaxing after all the drama was over).

Other than that we had a nice weekend it was our Labor Day weekend since Dane and to work the weekend before. I found out my cousin Ryan and been living in AZ for 3 yrs and I had no clue and he lives like 20 mins away! We re connected on FB and planned to get together and of course plans kept falling through, but finally last weekend he came over we went swimming and had a fun bbq. I wanted to get away from the normal hamburgers and hot dogs so we went with pork and chicken kabobs and they were so DEL ICIOUS!

Sorry this post was so long, I still have pics from the summer hopefully I will get around to posting them soon. Kaleb's eye is looking a lot better the top is already healed the bottom was open a bit more so that will take more time. I'm glad we didn't have to take him to get stitches, we figured if the butterfly bandage didn't work we would figure out a way to get the stitches, I'm glad it didn't come to that cause it was hard enough to get him to sit still the first time!

2011-09-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

Ok it's time to explain my facebook status from a few weeks ago:

have you ever been so excited about something you want to burst with happiness and joy and in the same second you are so scared to death you want to cry? Yeah that's how I'm feelin at the moment.

First let me start by sayin no I am not pregnant, that's just not in the cards right now. Last month a company was interested in buying my aprons for to sell in there store. I met with them on the 19 of Aug I was suppose to hear back from them on Monday but that didn't happen, I figured I would wait a week or so before revealing anything, but the call never came. So it doesn't look like that will be happening right now possibly in the future. I apologize for not clearing the air sooner, but there ya have it.

HaPpY bAcK tO sChOol DaY!!!

2011-08-10T13:31:00.000-07:00

Can you tell I am excited!? I wasn't the only one the kids were stoked especially after meeting their teachers yesterday. Since pictures speak louder than words here they are:

Ellie wouldn't leave the house unless she had her own back pack, and she had to be in the pics too!

They wanted a shot of their back packs.

My little kindergartner {sniff, sniff}, he walked right in gave me a hug and kiss told me he would be ok and then he was off!

Ryne was a little more nervous with starting a new school and making new friends but once she spotted someone she new she was off and playing!

This is my favorite of Ryne and Kaleb

I can't wait to hear about their first day of school!

"Is it time yet?"

2011-08-10T13:09:00.000-07:00

My kids have been askin me everyday for the past week "is tomorrow school day" and where disappointed when they got my typical answer "No, not for another week", which was always followed by moans and groans. When asked the same question yesterday I said the words they(and I) have been longing to hear "Yes, isn't that AWESOME!?" there were a hoopin and a hollerin music to my ears!

Yesterday we got to meet the teacher's. Kaleb found out that he was in the same class as a girl in our ward he was really excited about that. The kids were excited about there new classrooms, ok Ryne was excited about the classroom Kaleb was excited about the playground "wow mom they even have swings at this park!". I wanted to make the day before there first day back at school fun so when Dane got home we went swimming, played games and talked about the excitement everyone was feeling. I made a nice kid friendly dinner (it was divine!) Chicken Tenders wrapped in Bacon with a sweet mustard dipping sauce...

It was DIVINE did I say that already!? Seriously when your extremely picky 5 year old eats every bite and begs for more you know it's a keeper!

Along with the chicken I made my famous perfectly chocolate chocolate cake (it's to die for)!

This is the BEST chocolate cake ever and I am not exaggerating, it is so moist, and very rich in chocolatey goodness! The kids were wondering who's birthday it was it's not often mom makes cake! I decided to make it a tradition to make a back to school cake from now on, Ryne said " I like the smell of that tradition!" what a funny girl.

After dinner we had the kids get all there stuff together on the couch, then Dane gave all the kids blessings even Ellie, then prayers were said and they were off to bed and asleep in no time! Dane and I made there lunches made sure they had everything they needed and went to bed by 9:30 lame I know but I have to be up by 5:30 to get myself ready then I get the kids up at 6 then it's a mad dash to do chores, eat breakfast and get ready for school, so 9:30 bedtime is good!

2011-07-27T10:46:00.000-07:00

It's been a hard and very emotional month for me, I should be anxiously awaiting the arrival of a new family member, instead I am crying myself to sleep wondering if the empty hole I have in my heart will ever heal? I know that I was only 14 weeks when we lost him, I never really got to feel him move, and I never got to hold him or see him, but I still felt so connected to him. It doesn't matter how far a long you are when you loose a baby, you are in love with it the moment you find out you are expecting. I have been struggling a lot with many friends updates of the upcoming arrivals, there's a big conflict inside of me every time I read one, on one hand I am happy and excited for them on the other hand I am jealous, frustrated and just down right angry. It's not their fault, it's not something they can control, and right now these feelings are something I can't control.

I have had some people tell me I need to focus on the here and now instead of on the past, and for the most part I do but I can't just move on like it never happened because I just feel this gaping whole like someone in our family is missing. I have been keeping my body and mind busy and I have been happy. I am so blessed to have the 3 kids I have, and I have learned to not take them for granted. I have learned a lot from this trial, I have been doing pretty good with my feelings and emotions, been handling them as they come but last night and today have been extremely hard. I know things will get better, but at the moment they just plain suck.

Good things have been happening lately, like the kids getting into the school of our choice. We had some issues with the school that the kids are suppose to go to, like the choice that the district made to get rid of recess for 1st-6th graders, because they tested the lowest in the state so they think the kids need more classroom time, not to mention there school's communication skills were definitely lacking. Anyway I was thrilled when I went to this new school, a friend suggested it I was impressed the moment I walked in the door. The secretary was awesome she was quick to answer all my questions, and listen to my concerns, she also checked to see if they had room for my kids in there grades. They had to go over the IEP's to make sure that they gave the services requested and had the funds for some services requested. The next day I got the call that they had been excepted and I just needed to go in and sign a request form so they could get all the kids records from their previous school. When I went in I got to meet the principal, and she is pretty awesome, when going over the IEP's she didn't know if they had the funding for the aid that is required for Kaleb, their district representitive was out on vacation and she didn't want to wait 2 weeks to find out, so she called the district to find out if the funding was there when she couldn't get anyone to answer the phones she decided to go down and talk to someone about it in person how awesome is that!? Now that's service.

The secretary showed me around the school, were the kids classrooms are gonna be, she also gave me the # for the special ed teacher, and for Kaleb's aide, information that I could not get from the other school. The kids are super excited, even though they are gonna have to get up by 6 and be to school by 7:30ish. I think I am the one that's gonna have the harder time, last year Ryne didn't have to be to the bus stop till 8:30 so we had plenty of time, and 9x's out of 10 I just rolled out of bed in my jammies and walked her to her stop, now I will have to drive them. I decided it's not that bad the school is 10 mins away, and by going to school so early they get out earlier 2:15 which I think is nice cause that will give them more time to do home work and chores and have time to play before dinner and bedtime. I also think that since Ellie will have to get up so early she will start taking naps again.

We are going school supply shopping on Friday, the kids are thrilled. I figured I would take just Ryne and Kaleb and let Ellie have some quality daddy daughter time. We also got an appointment for Kaleb at the Melmed Center in November yes November I know it's awhile away but that's how far they are bookin out, I'm just glad we were able to get that appointment, plus this way Dane will have new vacation time and he can take the day off since the Melmed center is in Scottsdale and we have the other 3 kids that will need to be taken care of. The gal I talked to said the appointment will be 1 hr 1/2 - 2 hrs but by the time we leave we will l have a diagnosis and treatment plan no dragging it out.

Besides getting ready for school I have been busy gettin ready for an up coming boutique, and I have been working on aprons for my etsy shop. Here are some aprons I did for a friend, they turned out pretty good for wiggin it and making up my own patterns. So good things are happening, and I know I need to focus more on that and I think once this month is past me I will be able too.

Part 3

2011-07-25T12:15:00.000-07:00

Ok so next up was Father's Day the kids were pretty bummed that we weren't with daddy again this year. We did go out and get him a present the kids decided on a small tent, since he doesn't need the big family one for scout camps and the Father's and Sons camp out that they have every year, plus the family one is a pain to put up by yourself. K-mart happened to be having a sell on their tents, so that was nice. I had the kids hold the tent while I recorded them saying happy father's day, then we sent it to daddy before heading out to church. I know Dane really appreciated it.

Grandpa wasn't feeling to good on father's day and the kids were dyin to give him his presents and stuff, after we had dinner it was time and they were so willing to help grandpa open his presents!

This trip to Idaho I decided I would like to take the kids to the Hogle Zoo in Salt Lake I loved that zoo growing up we used to go all the time. Ethan and I packed a lunch and headed the 2 hrs to Salt Lake, the kids watched movies the whole time so it wasn't so bad, we sat in the parking lot and ate lunch before going into the zoo we figured that way we wouldn't have to lug around an ice chest.

It's been about 14 yrs since I had been to that zoo, nothing was familiar about it, all the habitats have been re done there were quite a few animals that weren't there anymore, but it was neat to see all the changes.The kids had a blast here are a few of my fave pics from the day:

It was really neat to see this Elephant stretch her trunk to reach the melons the zoo worker was throwing in the water.

Ellie like the Elephants, she kept saying "whoa dat's big!"

K funny story with this next picture actually 2 funny stories. This T-Rex would growl and roar at passersby Kaleb was quick to point out that the actual dinosaur wasn't making the noise and was quick to point out the speakers hidden up in the tree's! He didn't want to spoil it for the other kids so he kept his discovery to himself and of course me. Ellie got a big kick out of this big dinosaur's growls, she stood a few feet from him stood on her tip toes leaned forward and with as much breath as she could muster she roared her biggest roar, turning red in the process, it was a cute site to see but the best part was when the t-rex roared his biggest roar right back at her! Ellie was quick to turn on her hills and RUN! It was the funniest thing EVER, anyone that was watchin couldn't help but laugh! I wish I would have had my camera out, it would have been a great shot to get.

We went in to the snake habitat's Ellie was of course with her favorite Uncle Ethan, he took her over to see the snakes her quick response when he pointed them out od "eeeewwww YUCK!" now every time you ask her what a snake says she responds with "ewwww sssssss YUCK!". My thoughts exactly!

The kids were exhausted by the end of the day, but they had so much fun. Kaleb's favorite thing was the dinosaurs, Ryne's was the peacocks and Ellie's was the ~~snakes~~ monkeys. It was a nice day and we had a nice quiet ride home.

Our trip to "The Land of DOOoooooM!" Part 2

2011-07-23T23:17:00.000-07:00

We went to the Ross Park Zoo in Pocatello with Stephanie and her twins. The kids had fun, I'll I have to say is whoever thought building the zoo on a hill was a good idea obviously didn't try pushing a stroller with 3 kids in it (sit n stand stroller) up the hills. Boy my calves were burnin that night!

They had fun diggin for dinosaurs bones!

Ellie loved the little bunny, she tickled it and even gave it kisses.

There was a worker sprayin down the cages this bear was lovin the water he would wait till she sprayed her way then he would walk over and bask in the coolness of the water. The kids watched for a good 5 mins, it was quite entertaining.

My friend Bryce and his wife Jenyl brought their precious little Ethan to visit, again my kids loved having a l little one to hold.

Don't be fooled by Kaleb's face he was thrilled to be holding little Ethan, he's sad that he doesn't have his own brother.

She's a natural.

She was smothering him with kisses, Ethan wasn't to thrilled.

More Idaho adventures to come.

Our trip to "The Land of DOOoooooM!" Part I

2011-07-22T14:07:00.000-07:00

When we arrived at my mom's the sky was black, and the wind was blowing horrendously. While I was relaxing on the couch talking with my parents Kaleb runs in from outside and says "Mom, I think we came to the wrong place. This isn't Idaho it's the land of doooooooom." he said doom loud then faded out it was classic. I thought it was hilarious and of course decided to blog it.

The drive up wasn't bad at all, the kids and I left at 4 am on the 26th of May. I know what your thinking "HOLY CRAP that's EARLY" and you would be right it was, but my hubby was able to help me get everyone loaded in the car. We made really good time and got to Mesquite by 12, we had a room right next to the pool which was great for letting the kids get their wiggles out. We didn't have an incident were the kids called 911 with the hotel phone while I was sleeping, a security guard woke me up to make sure all was good! Anyway we were in bed by 8 up and out of Mesquite by 7, again with just a few potty stops we made good time and got to my parents by about 4.

We went to the Fire Station open house in Pocatello and of course the kids had a blast, Ellie even got to shoot the fire hose.

Ellie was afraid of the dog this year!

In case you were wondering, she has ketchup on her face!

A couple days later my friend Stephanie came over and brought her totally huggable twins Harlee and Husdon, my girls were in heaven!

I love this one of Ellie and Harlee!

Ellie was so sad when they left she stood on the porch and cried "my babies!".

Stayed tuned for more posts about our trip to "the land of doooooom" seriously so fun to say!

Glad to be home, or not!

2011-07-08T13:11:00.000-07:00

We got home from our trip on Wednesday I wish I could say the trip home was un-eventful and a breeze but alas what fun would there be if it was!? We had a good 4Th well at least most of us did, we went tubing down the Portnef, Dana tipped over twice he hurt is foot in the process, we thought it was broken he could barely put any pressure on it, luckily it's not. I ended up packing the car by myself on the 5th, I had hoped to be gone by 9, 10 at the latest, of course things didn't go as planned and we didn't leave until 12:30, but I didn't care I was happy to be on the road. I drove for a little while then Dane took over (thank goodness), we were just outside of Springfield when we decided to stop for a potty break and something to eat, as we were pulling off the road our car started to shake our first thought was we had a flat we got out and checked everything looked fine. We took everyone to the potty and then went through the drive through (we got free ice cream for the long wait), with food in hand we got back on the freeway only to have our front right tire exploded and I am not using that word lightly pieces of the tire flew, you could here the rim scrapping on the road. I may have said a few choice words and held on tightly to the OSH (oh sh*t handle), I am so glad Dane was driving, he kept the car under control till we could safely pull over.

You can probably guess that we had to pretty much unload the car to get the spare and jack, I wasn't very happy about it but what do ya do!? So we were kinda laughing about what a pain it was a sayin well it could be worse like we could be in Arizona in 115 degree heat changing the flat, I laughed pointed and the big white fluffy clouds said well at least it's not raining and less then a minute later it started to you guessed it RAIN!!! I held the umbrella over Dane while he changed the tire. It took us about an hour from the time we pulled off the road to get the tire changed and the car re-packed (I actually did a better job this time), and with that we were off!

We made it to Mesquite by about 9:30p.m. everyone was tired and hungry, so we ate and went to bed, and of course things wouldn't be complete without a sleep deprived momma so Ellie woke up around 4 throwing a tantrum and Kaleb quickly followed by peeing the bed. My plan was to get up around 6 and hit the road, but I should have known better then to try and plan anything, I didn't get to sleep till about 5:30 and slept in till about 8 by the time we ate and got packed up it was 10, but honestly I didn't really care, we weren't in a hurry.

We got home about 6:30, everyone was so happy when the house came into few, we all hooped and hollered and shouted for joy, little did we know what awaited us inside! Dane and the kids made it into the house before I did and quickly discovered that the power had been out, all the food in the fridge was rotten and some was even oozing FANTASTIC!!!! The heat in the house was intense and the smell even more so, I ended up opening all the windows, the hot breeze from outside actually felt pretty cool in the house. So here was the deal with the power, we have M-Power which is a back that plugs inside your house and you have a little card that you put money on and load it into the box to keep the power going, Dane loaded a $100 onto the card and thought he loaded it the day he left, we learned that the card was faulty and the money didn't load so the power was shut off the day after Dane left so the power was out for 5 days, it was soooo GROSS!! We were able to get a duplicate card made and the $100 was credited, so that was a relief, but then we had to deal with the fact that we had spent the last $50 we had on power(before we got the $100 back), so we had no money to replenish out fridge, I am so grateful for really great friends and church that helped us out, we should be good till payday next Friday,

So things are better today, I spent all day yesterday cleaning,scrubbing, unpacking, and doing laundry, I am almost caught up today. I have tons of pics from the trip, as soon as I find my camera cord and have time I will blog them, along with more fun stories.

I took Kaleb to the pediatrician today, we decided to change to a new office and Dr. we weren't happy with the office or Dr. we had before. A friend recommended this new office to us and I was so pleased the nurses and Dr. were absolutely AWESOME, they were very patient and made both Kaleb and I very comfortable. When I brought up my concerns about Kaleb the Dr. actually listened to me and didn't make me feel like was overreacting. He agreed that Kaleb does have ADHD but he feels that there is more to it than that, Aspergers and a couple other possibilities were brought up and we have been recommended to a specialist, it's a busy place and it will take us a month or so to get in, but at least we are on the track to finding out some answers and to get Kaleb(and us) the help he(we) need. Other than the issues I brought up, he is healthy and strong.

2011-06-03T18:21:00.000-07:00

I could say that things have been super busy and crazy and that's the reason I haven't blogged, but I would be lying and I was taught to tell no lies! I guess it would be a half truth, cause things were super busy before we left for Idaho and I didn't get a chance to blog about the kids graduations and Kaleb's. But things have been pretty slow since I got my to my parents I have had plenty of time to blog I just haven't been feelin it.

We went to the fire house in Pocatello today we did it last year too, but this year it wasn't raining (surprisingly)! I thought it was cooler this year, it was more organized, with more stuff to do. I had my camera this time so I have pictures, but I didn't bring my cord to hook up to the computer so sadly no pictures, well at least for now I'm hoping the hubs will send the cord. The kids had fun Ryne and Kaleb dressed up again, Ellie was happy with her sucker and balloon. They had a little trailer that you went into, they went over fire safety then filled the room with smoke and had the kids practice what they just learned, Ellie and I waited outside and watched as they climbed out a window. There was another trailer that simulated a tornado and we learned what to do if we are ever caught in one. All three kids got to shoot water from the fire hose, Ellie was mesmerized by it. We had hot dogs for lunch then headed home (after stoppin at Wal-mart and K-mart. Tomorrow we go to the Mountain Man Rendezvous I will take some pics with my phone.

Camp outs, meetings and pains

2011-05-20T12:56:00.000-07:00

This weekend is the Father and Sons camp out, Kaleb has been dying for this weekend to get here. He has been asking me every weekend for the last 2 months if it was time to go camping. This is his day with his dad "no silly sisters aloud!". The Father and Sons has come at a perfect time this year, cause we are leaving for Idaho next week {squeal} and this gives Dane a chance to connect with Kaleb and it gives me a little break! I look forward to this weekend every year, I get to have a little break from Kaleb don't get me wrong I love him with everything I have but is a difficult kid to handle. I also deep clean my house before they go, cause it stays clean the WHOLE weekend (it proves to me that boys are a lot messier than girls).

Ryne is mutually excited, she can't wait to have a girls night with mom and Ellie, she's decided on homemade pizza and brownies for dinner, then some nail painting, wii games and " a chick movie" to end the night. I am excited to spend the weekend with my girls (including the dogs), we always have a lot of fun together.

This week has been FULL of MET and IEP meetings, Ryne's was a short and sweet half hr meeting, Kaleb's has been split into 3 meetings that's right 3. It's insane especially with everything else we have going on, his last meeting is on the 25th then we are off to Idaho till July. I learned some new things about Kaleb today, I got some advice and lot's of encouragement that I am on the right track with getting Kaleb into a specialist.

Last night I was up with Kaleb till 4 a.m. his legs wouldn't stop moving, they were in constant motion, he cried nearly the whole time complaining about how bad they hurt. I ended up laying across his legs to get them to stop, the added pressure helped immensely and with the help of some Tylenol he relaxed enough to get back to sleep. It was a long night, it's been a long day and we are only half way through it!

I figure I will get to relax with the girls later, so for now I am keeping busy with cleaning, and laundry. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!!

Don't take advantage of my friends!!

2011-05-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

I have a neighbor who I love dearly, my kids call her "grandma Doreen" she is just plain AWESOME. She is kind to all the kids in the neighborhood, whenever the kids need a little money she usually always has a job for them to do. I get really frustrated when the kids take advantage of her, for instance a boy that lives right across from me went to her and asked if he could do her weeds, of course she said yes but then he said he really needed the money right then so being the kind lady she is gave him the money on the promise that he would do her weeds that was 4 WEEKS ago and the weeds have yet to be done!

What's really sad is that his dad is the maintenance manager in the park, he knows that he son is suppose to do the weeds yet he hasn't made sure it has gotten done. If my neighbor gets a notice or if the dad (of the kid that was suppose to do it) does it then she will be charged by the park we live in which is total and complete CRAP!!! I decided yesterday that I couldn't stand it in longer so today I am going to do the weeds, which is funny cause I got a call from my neighbor asking if they had been done yet of course the answer was no, she asked if I wanted to earn some extra money and of course I said no cause seriously she shouldn't have to pay TWICE for 1 job. I wouldn't want her to pay me anyway, she can't do it herself it's do in my mind the neighborly thing to do is to just do the weeds when I do my own, so that's it my mind has been made up she will no longer have to pay ANYONE to do her weeds.

I found out yesterday that the same kid had gotten paid by someone else to do there weeds and guess what he NEVER did it, they ended up having to go out and do it themselves. My plan is to wait for this kid to get home from school, I will be outside doing her weeds as he is walking home. And I swear if either one of his parents say a dang word about it I will be pissed!!! I mean if my child was paid to do a job, I as the parent would make sure the job was done even if that meant doing the job myself and making him do extra chores at home to make up for it or I would make him do it the rest of the year FREE of charge!! Ok I am going to step off my soap box now, I just needed to get that out I just get so angry when people try and take advantage of other people!

Heart

2011-05-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

This morning on our way out the door Kaleb asked me "mom did you loose your heart?", stunned I stared wide eyed. After a minute I found my voice and asked him why he thought that, this was his answer "cause the baby in your tummy died, and it was like it was your heart.". Wow I honestly had no answer, I got emotional. Dana answered him, I have no idea what was said cause I just went numb, my head was swirling with questions, frustration and doubts of my ability as a mother.

It amazes me how observant children are, things have been harder for me this month, if I hadn't have lost the baby in September I would be expecting this month. It has been especially hard for me, but I didn't realize how much that showed. I have been trying my best to show my love for my kids, but I have to admit my patience has been very thin lately, I'm easily agitated and I'm not always in the moment. I have been very forgetful lately, I'm glad my kids are old enough to tell me(or show me) what they want or need. My mind keeps wandering to places I haven't let my self go before, and the only way to stop it is to keep myself busy with other things, like laundry dishes, blogging, it all helps to take my mind off things, but it also keeps me from being there for my kids.

I'm worried now that my kids don't think I love them. I talked with Kaleb and asked him why he thought I had lost my heart, he said "your not as fun as you use to be, and you say no a lot". This summer the kids and I are going to Idaho, it's going to be great I am really excited and I think I will take the time I am going to have with them to heart. I will try and play with them more, and to listen to all they have to say before giving an answer. I know eventually I need to let myself think and feel all that I am keeping locked up, that's what this trip is for I NEED my family and friends that are in Idaho. I to take a step back from all the crap here in Arizona, so that I can deal with it when I come back.

I promised Kaleb that things will get better, I know they will because I have been promised the same thing by my Father in Heaven and I know in there right time everything will be fine and work out the way it's suppose too, I love my family and the insight of my 5 yr old he has given me a lot to think about.

2011-05-12T08:51:00.000-07:00

Today is Kaleb's last day of pre-school EVER! I can't believe it he's going to be in kindergarten next year and Ryne will be in first grade HOLY CRAP I can't believe how fast they are growing. Both kids are excited for their new adventures, and of course they aren't sweatin it like mom is.

I have been reserved when it comes to Kaleb starting kindergarten honestly I'm scared. Most of you will say that's normal, just about all parents feel that way when their 5 yr goes to kindergarten. But I never felt this way for Ryne I was so excited for her, and maybe a little nervous but not scared. This last year there have been many concerns from the teachers and therapists that work with Kaleb daily, he is VERY VERY smart, but he has no self control, he doesn't play well with other kids (except Logan), he is an emotional roller coaster. Of course the teachers and therapists can't come out and say what they think might be the issue, they can only let me know their concerns and hope I look into it more and get him the help he needs.I needed to know a direction to go in so I talked to his teacher "unofficially" she brought up ADD, ADHD and Apserger's could be possibilities. When she told me theses possibilities my gut feeling lingered with one, I won't say which one it is at this time, I want to know more first.

I have been fighting with Doctors and insurance this whole year trying to get him into a specialist, but that was proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be. In order to have him see a specialist we need to have a referral. I voiced my concerns with his pediatrician she shrugged it off and told me he was just a typical little boy (after observing him for a total of 5 mins). I should have pushed more, but I didn't cause honestly I didn't want there to be anything wrong, I figured she was the Doctor she would know if there was something "different" about Kaleb. So I put it off till the next IEP meeting when again concerns were voiced, he wasn't doing much better than before, his behaviors had gotten worse.

The next week Kaleb started OT at school and he started to do better, they quickly learned that a lot of his fidgeting and restlessness was do to over-stimulation . I took this information back to the pediatrician, she said it could be Sensory Integration Dysfunction, but said she didn't think it was and wouldn't recommend us to anyone. Again she only observed him for a couple of mins before coming to this decision. I got frustrated and took him to another pediatrician, I was basically told that I was over reacting, (even though I had all the concerns from the teachers in writing) and the concerns were once again dismissed. I was told that he was a "typical 3 yr old" I laughed out loud when he told me this, he looked shocked and a little irritated I looked him in the eye and said "That would be good news if he wasn't five." I got up and walked out.

I called the insurance to see if there was anyway I could get him to a specialist without a referral and was pretty much told no, I had to "go through the proper channels" . My thought at this point was "proper channels SUCK". I couldn't get another opinion cause with the insurance(AHCCCS) he could only change Dr.'s once a year. The teachers and I have pulled together and tried to do our best, but we all know he needs more help.

We have been fortunate this year to get some raises with Dana's work, and we are now finally able to afford to put the kids on his work insurance. We have just had to wait for the state to kick the kids off of AHCCCS, the waiting is finally over. Dane enrolled the kids last week we do have to wait for a couple of weeks before we can use the insurance. A friend of mine suggested a really good pediatrician the specializes with kids with ADD, ADHD and so on, so I will start there and hopefully before he starts school in August we will have some answers and hopefully more help. I know I don't have a PhD but I know my son and something isn't right and I will work my hardest to find out what that is and give him the help he needs, I will never give up on him.

Sorry I know this post is super long and very serious sorry about that. We leave for Idaho in 2 weeks I am soooooo stoked I seriously can't wait!! I need a break, I need my friends, I need my family. The kids are very excited as well, they are looking forward to all the fun things we will do this summer with grandma and grandpa. Well now that I have spent most my morning relieving the stress I was carrying, I have a lot of things to get done before going to Kaleb's "graduation" this afternoon.

Laundry

2011-05-11T17:49:00.000-07:00

Ellie was helping me with laundry yesterday, I think she had more fun than I did!

She pulled the hamper into the living room to watch her movie! Apparently it's quite comfortable.

Funny thing

2011-05-11T16:48:00.000-07:00

Monday morning I woke up with a horrible stomach ache, I got up with the kids and hauled them all to Ryne's school for the Kindergarten tour for Kaleb. I honestly thought it was a waist of time,but Kaleb loved it. Anyway we got home just in time for Ryne to get on the bus and go back (she thought that was so lame). I had planned on taking the car to emissions but my stomach was killing me and I started to throw up (and NO I am NOT pregnant), so I decided emissions could wait. I put cartoons on for the kids and curled up on my bed in pain hoping sleep would come soon so I wouldn't have to feel the pain.

I spent most of my time in the bathroom (I was seriously ready to get a pillow and blanket and lie in the tub), peaking in on the kids to make sure they were staying out of trouble. Turns out I wasn't keeping close enough tabs Ellie got my Wise Women spice(from Chef Tess) and dumped the whole bottle(did I mention it was a brand new bottle) into the butter, she then proceeded to get a whisk and mix it together! Oh and she didn't stop there she decided my favorite chair wanted a taste (looking back I wish I would have taken pics). I did the minimal clean up and laid her down for the nap, put Ironman (a cartoon series) on for Kaleb and laid back down.

I'm not sure how long I was asleep before I heard a high pitch panicked voice calling my name, I opened my eyes to see Kaleb standing over me crying mumbling something about "what did I do, you need to look, mom, mom" it was all mumbled together and was hard to make out. I shot up thinking something bad had happened, I took a hold of Kaleb and realized what the panic was all about, just one look it's all it took. See for yourself:

Yup that's right he found some scissors(my fabric scissors) and decided to cut his hair, and he got it all the way down to the scalp. He thought it was never going to grow back and he was going to look like this FOREVER, and I may or may not have let him believe that for a just minute!

I waited for dad to get home to handle it cause seriously more than 10 mins out of bed and I was drained of energy and throwing up again. Dane made the experience "as embarrassing as possible", he cut Kaleb's hair very slowly and tried some different styles that Kaleb wasn't so fond of. When he finally got down to business Kaleb quickly realized what we meant by "we have to shave it ALL off" and he was devastated:

He cried the entire time, I felt really bad for him. He was convinced that no one would know who he was anymore. He was also sad because "there are no bald superheros! I guess I am Lex Luther." Leave it to Kaleb to think of that! He did promise that he would " I will NEVER,EVER NO cut my hair AGAIN!!" which is what we wanted to hear. I do have to give him credit though by the age of 5 Ryne had cut her hair 3 times this was Kaleb's first and hopefully last time.

When he got on the bus yesterday his bus driver told him she didn't recognize him he turned to me with tears in his eyes and said "see I told you they wouldn't know it was me Kaleb", the driver quickly told him how awesome she thought he was and soon he was smiling and laughing about it. We did reassure him that his hair would grow back and that we would never cut in that short again unless we had to.

Best. Mother's Day. EVER!!

2011-05-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

The start to my weekend wasn't pretty but by the end of Friday night things were looking up. Saturday was really nice the house stayed clean and I got to spend some one on one time with Kaleb. Dane wasn't felling well on Saturday so he spent most the day sleeping, so by the time I was ready for bed he was WIDE awake!! Ellie decided that she wasn't tired either and stayed up till 10:30a.m. (I couldn't very well leave her in her room screaming), once she was down for the count I hit the hay and my hubby hit the stores, yup that's right he hadn't done any mother's day shopping but honestly I really wasn't that bummed about it, I got a dryer it may not have been what I wanted but it was what I NEEDED and I was happy.

I woke up Sunday morning to hugs and kisses and "happy mother's day" songs. Once up and out of bed I went to the kitchen to found and orange tree and lemon tree on my kitchen table! I have really been wanting plant trees in our yard so this was perfect, also there that I had totally and completely missed was the book The short second life of Bree Tanner and Eclipse novella, he gave me The Twilight Saga the official illustrated guide for my birthday. So that was awesome I felt dumb I didn't even see it sitting on the table with the trees. Ryne gave me and flower pen and coupon book she made at school she as so proud of herself. While I was reading the home made cards and the ones Dane got Kaleb came up to me in absolute tears gave me a hug and said "I love you mom I promise I won't say hurtful words to you anymore." I was touched I cried (ok cried some more, the cards had already opened the flood gates). I thought maybe he had been prompted by his dad to say that, but a quick glance at Dane and I knew he was just as surprised and touched as I was. Ellie gave me a hug and kiss and said "I wove you" and did the hand signs along with that I had showed her (touched her eye, hugged her arms across her chest and pointed to me for "you") it was sweet I have been trying to get her to do it on her own, but she would only mimic me. It was a bonus.

Once the presents were "opened" and the excitement was over, Dane surprised me with breakfast he made cinnamon rolls, yes they were from a can but who cares it's the thought that counts, and they were YUMMY. It was awesome and we were all dressed and ready in plenty time for church we weren't LATE for once I seriously loved that. Church was awesome too at least for the most part, I did miss the talks cause I was out in the hall with a screaming 2 yr old, but I was able to realize I forgot half my primary lesson at home and go get it. After primary the men came to relieve any women from sharing time so we could go into relief society, which is nice in and of it's self but what was really awesome was what was waiting for us in the relief society room a little brunch eon it was fantastic, bishop talked for a few minutes then gave us the rest of the hour to eat and mingle. It was neat to see the room completely full of happy relaxed women.

Once home from church Dane fed the kids lunch, while I got to lock myself away in my room and read my new book. I also got to call my mom, she has been there for my siblings and I know matter what, she has never turned her back on any of us no matter what stupid choice we made. She has shown me and unconditional love that I hope I can show to my kids.
It was a lazy day, Dane even made dinner, and brownies for dessert(seriously a man after my own heart, brownies are my fav). It was such a great day even the kids acted kinder to one another. I have learned that some of my best mother's day's have been the ones where I have got what I NEEDED instead of what I wanted like a dryer, hugs, flower pens and tearful promises. I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's day.

Sweet Relief!

2011-05-07T12:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a stressful one (you can read about it here), but I had an unexpected visitor (the laundry fairy) she gave me some much NEEDED and much appreciated help! By the end of the day the piles of things to do were gone and so was the stress! We ended up buying the dryer from the gal I know for $75, cause by the time we priced all the parts, it was cheaper to go the other way.

It was nice to wake up to a nice clean house, we had our mother's day breakfast today since we have to be to church by 8 tomorrow, it was wonderful and the best part was the cleanup everyone pitched in so it took less then 10 mins!! After breakfast Kaleb and I went to run some errands, we had to go to the UPS store, Kohl's, and the laundry mat Pippy puked on my quilt LOVELY right!? We will be home for about an hr before we take to his best friend Logan's birthday party! I through my sheets in the dryer this morning and guess what!? It worked and it was SUPER quiet AWESOME! So far today has been a good one, let's hope it stays that way!

I hope you all have a SUPER AWESOME MOTHER'S DAY tomorrow!!!

Ranting, raving and venting!

2011-05-06T10:25:00.000-07:00

Ok I need to vent or I am going to explode. Most of you know we haven't had the best of luck these last couple of weeks with our cars, we ended up putting a speed sensor, catalytic converter, water pump and a/c motor in my car, and a new engine in Dane's lovely right HAPPY MOTHER'S day to me!! And if that wasn't enough yesterday my dryer decided that it needs a new heating element, it already needed a new belt and pads (that the hubby kept putting off). I am so totally overwhelmed especially since I am still planning on going to Idaho for the summer, but at this point I have no idea how we are going to pay for everything. Have ya seen I Robot I feel like Will Smith's character "your sh*t keeps malfunctioning around me", yeah I swear if something else breaks down I am going MALFUNCTION!

On a good note when I FB about my dryer a gal I know mentioned she has a dryer she is trying to sell, it's 5 yrs old runs awesome and she wants $75 for it, that would be cheaper than buying all the parts to fix the one we have, and it would save us much ~~cussing~~ heated discussion with the one we have, cause we can't figure out how to get to all the parts in the first place, it's extremely frustrating. Plus I would be able to have a dryer asap which would be great considering I am right in the middle of doing laundry. We aren't suppose to hang our clothes outside to dry cause "it isn't appealing" (but apparently the foot high weeds in the empty lots are) to any one looking to rent or buy in our neighborhood. But ya know what I said screw it, my front and back porch's are currently adorned with clothes that are drying including little girls underpants. I honestly don't care we live in ARIZONA for crying out loud it's been in the high 90's the last few days the clothes will be out there for like 20 mins max (so by the time I get done with this post). I'm not going to wait to get my dryer fixed(or a new one) to do the laundry I already let it pile up, if I wait any longer I will be even more overwhelmed, and this is MOTHER'S DAY weekend dammit I shouldn't be overwhelmed right!? I wish we could have a clothes line here cause man that would save me so much electricity, and I love clothes that have been hung to dry they smell so wonderful, and it would give me a reason to get outside! I will have to definitely take advantage of my mom's clothes line when I get to Idaho!

I was hoping to have my house clean today so that I could relax this weekend at this rate it ain't gonna happen, there's to much to do and not enough time to do it in and the broken dryer through a kink in my plans. On a light note I made my first sell in my etsy shop I was super stoked! I would have celebrated but the dryer crappin out kinda killed the mood for celebration. I hope that sell was the first of many heaven know's I could really use it right now!

Ok I think I am done ranting for now, I do feel better I always feel better when I can't rant and rave and get my frustrations out. Hopefully I will have a dryer tonight whether we fix it or get a different one, and hopefully I can get the house clean so I can enjoy a clean free weekend. I have faith it will all work out!

By the by have been busy crafting too if ya want to check it out go to my craft blog HERE.

Ghost Town

2011-05-02T19:39:00.000-07:00

We took Dane's parents to the Gold Canyon Ghost Town, we had tons of fun even though Kaleb fell and cut the underside of his chin, and grandpa got a pretty nasty sliver. Here are some pics from the day.

Ellie's favorite part of the Mine Tour was playin in the dirt.

Dane and Kaleb in the Mystery Shack that defies gravity (this is were Kaleb biffed it and cut himself).

Gun fight

Kaleb happily announced "AAHHH MAN there all DEAD!"

Kaleb found a nice place to sit during the gun show.

Ellie joined him and wasn't happy she had to share her spot, Kaleb wasn't to thrilled either.

All 3 kids chanted "let me out" at the same time without being cued it was funny.

We are planning to go back there soon, there was so much we didn't get to see.

Birthday/Easter weekend part3

2011-04-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

With all the hustle and bustle of the weekend we didn't get a chance to color eggs with the kids {GASP} I know it was so LAME of us, but ya know what the kids didn't even notice. They were thrilled when they saw what the Easter Bunny had brought, which is great cause I thought that getting socks and church clothes would make them think that he was just as LAME as their parents, but it turns out they were absolutely thrilled with what they got! Kaleb's exact words were "{GASP} New church clothes for MEEEEE!? Oh yeah I am going to wear them right NOW!"

Hunting for eggs.

I know the pic below is blurry but I just love how the dogs are staring at Ellie, with her candy!

Ellie looked so cute in her sequined top "froo, froo" dress.

I the Easter Bunny loved this dress when I he saw it! I thought it looked like Ryne and she looked so grown up in it. I do need to adjust the length of the straps, but overall it fits her well.

Kaleb told us "just call me green man!"

All 3 of my little turkeys, all ready for church!

After church we all took naps, then had dinner and birthday cake outside it was a wonderful Easter!

Birthday/Easter weekend part 2

2011-04-29T12:31:00.000-07:00

After we got home Saturday night we loaded everyone up and went to the park to have dinner with our ward before we headed to the Mesa Temple for the Easter pageant. The kids got to run off some energy, Dane and I wished we had some energy, I swear we came back from our trip more tired then when we left! The kids settled down pretty good when the pageant started I was surprised at how well Ellie did, Kaleb fell asleep about half way through, and Ryne was on the verge.

Ok so I have a ton more pictures so this 2 parter is going to be a 3 parter! We had so much fun and I really enjoyed spending my birthday with my family celebrating what Easter is really about, can't get better than that!

Birthday/Easter weekend

2011-04-27T17:06:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize when I chose to go away on my birthday weekend it was Easter weekend as well, I blame the kids they lost my calendar! We I did all the Easter shopping (1 day)before we took off for Snow Flake. We stuffed all the eggs and had everything pretty much ready to go. I will break this post into 2 starting with my birthday weekend.

Dane had half day on Friday he decided to take the whole day off so we could get an early start to Snow Flake. We got Ryne on the bus at 8:30 then we took off. Freedom is such a grand thing!
Funny how having "freedom" means a completely different thing for me now than it did when I was a teenager. I mean growing up I always wanted freedom from my parents, I wanted to eat as much junk food as I wanted, stay up late, hang out with my friends. Now my idea of freedom is getting to eat a meal(and junk food) without sharing, and getting to bed by 9 so I can get a good night sleep even with interruptions, and hanging out with friends usually means a family picnic and a quick hello before the kids are off doin somethin they shouldn't be.

Ok back to my weekend, we decided to take the route that took us through Show Lo, Dane served his mission there and wanted to show me around. The 3 hr drive was complete and utter bliss, no "I need to go the bathroom", "I'm hungry", "she's lookin at me funny!", or the famous "ARE WE THERE YET!?", it was just my hubby and me having and actual adult conversation, I honestly can't remember that last real adult conversation that we have had that hasn't been about the kids, dogs , house, bills etc. It was nice and much needed. Dane showed me around Show Lo a bit then we headed to Snow Flake we go there around 2 and our check in time wasn't till 3 so we went to a Mexican Restaurant that was right across the street from the B&B. The first thing I noticed when we walked into this place was a sign that read...

"Prayers may not be aloud in public schools,
but they are welcome at our tables."

I was impressed I never before have seen anything like this. After we were seated I began to notice pictures of Christ all over the place, and really I shouldn't have been surprised the town was found by members of the church and most of those that reside there are in turn LDS. Anyway I just thought that it was pretty cool. After lunch we headed over to the B&B, such an AWESOME place we will definitely be going there again, and we will think and plan ahead and stay for more than just 1 night. On with the pictures

Heritage Inn

We had the Presidential Lincoln Suite. I LOVED the simplicity of this room, I also fell in love with the king size bed(I really need to get me on of them) & the jacuzzi bathtub it was heaven!

This chair was in the far right corner, it had a really high back and was surprisingly comfortable.

The Inn all lit up.

Even though we were on "vacation" we went to bed at 9:00 (we both decided we were LAME) and because we went to bed so early we were up by 4!!! I enjoyed another (my 4th) bubble bath in the jacuzzi tub, them curled up with Dane on the bed to watch Saturday morning cartoons, it just felt weird not too! We had a WONDERFUL breakfast and then set out to the Snow Flake Temple.

We didn't go in because somebody (Ellie) took my temple recommend out of my wallet!

We enjoyed walking the beautiful Temple grounds even though it was very windy and quite chili.

Go here to find out more about Snowflake. There were a lot of historical little houses (including the Inn we stayed in), so once we were done with the temple we toured a couple of the houses there. It was really neat to see these homes and to hear about the amazing people they gave up everything to settle the area. I have decided that the pioneer women are my heroes, a couple of the ones we learned about raised 20 & 25 kids can you imagine? I have trouble with just my 3!!!

This is one of the homes.

We headed home around 12, got home about 4 loaded everyone up and went to the Easter Pageant, but I will save that for another post!!

Visitors

2011-04-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

The in-laws are comin tomorrow and I actually feel ready this year, last year I stayed up all night putting together a bed and cleanin the house, not this year! We busted our butts this weekend to get our old sewing/office cleaned out so we don't have to kick Kaleb out of his room(he doesn't care for bunkin with the girls)! I have to admit I didn't think it was going to get done for one reason or another it kept getting put off, nothin like needing a room to make ya get off your bum and clean it right!? With everyone pitchin in we got it together . Once the in-laws are gone I will be workin on switching Kaleb to the old office and making up the guest/sewing room it's going to be a BIG project but for some reason I am really gun ho about it! I'm hoping while I have help here I will get my kitchen done, it really won't take long, and it's drivin me absolutely CRAZY with the peeling wallpaper and white walls I NEED color people!!

My birthday is this weekend, my hubby asked what I wanted and I told him a weekend with just the 2 of us, so he asked the in-laws if they could watch the kids for us, I booked a room in Snow Flake at a B&B, and our plans are set. Tensions have been high lately and I really feel like him and I need to reconnect. The kids were a little sad to here of our plans we told them we could celebrate my birthday on Saturday (since it really is my birthday that day) when we got home they liked that idea. Yesterday we found out our ward is havin a picnic on Saturday and are planning to see the Easter Pageant afterwards, and of course it's Easter weekend so HOLY CRAP it's goin to be a busy weekend. We were talkin about what are plans are goin to be and lettin the kids know were are goin to have to cut some stuff out, as much as we want to we can't do everything! Since we aren't cuttin Easter out and the kids really want to go to the picnic so I suggested that we not celebrate my birthday, cause Saturday would be to crazy and Sunday is Easter and I don't want to take from that, I really want Easter to be the focus and not the easter egg hunt, candy commercial Easter, but the Easter about the resurrection of our Savior and Redeemer. I got a good scolding from the hubbs about how the kids will feel really left out if we don't celebrate my birthday, but really I am goin to be preparing so much other crap for Easter I don't want to make my own cake I just don't. Ok I will stop complaining I'm sure we will figure somethin out so that everyone is happy, and fyi I have nothin against celebratin my birthday it's just goin to be a crazy!

On another note if you want to check out some of the crafty things I've been up to check out my craft blog.

Car update!

2011-04-13T11:41:00.000-07:00

We finally got our Rendezvous back after a little adventure! Dane picked up the car on his way home from work, we loaded the younger kids and went to pick Ryne up from school. The car seemed to be working perfectly it was shifting just like it should, it wasn't squeakin any more and all the gages were working (gas, speedometer). We got Ryne then headed for the store for some much needed essentials, we were drivin along things were good then we heard a snap, bang, clank, clank the car immediately started overheating and the power steering was shot WAHOO more car problems seriously that's just what we needed! Dane and I got out to inspect the problem we could smell burning rubber which we figured was NOT a good sign, but other than the smell we couldn't see anything, Dane decided to turn the car on while I watched to see if I could see anything. I did take a couple steps back I really didn't want to get impaled by something! I quickly discovered that it was the brand new belt that they had just put in it was completely shredded, so we called our mechanic he told us to come on in and he would get us fixed and on our way.

We had to call a tow of course, the kids and I got to ride in the car on the big flat bed tow truck it was quite an experience and I have to say I was terrified, yes this from a girl who wants to jump out of an airplane! There was something about it that un-nerved me, it could have been that we were taller than all the other vehicles around us, or that fact that I could fill every little bump, or that we were on a slight slant and it felt like we were goin to fall off at any given time! I held my breath and gripped the OSH(oh shiz handle) and held on for dear life, all the while my kids were lookin out the windows thinking this was the coolest thing EVER! They also made up stories about how it was Joker kidnapping us because Kaleb was batman and ya know "joker is batmans enemies". Luckily we only had to go a little ways, once we got to Al's they went to work right away, and discovered it wasn't just a belt issue (of course it couldn't be just that), that there was some other part that honestly I can't remember the name of! Anyway Al the owner went to pick up the part for us cause the place he gets them from didn't have a driver that late in the day, once back with the part it only took about an hr to put it in. The kids did pretty good with waiting Kaleb was enthralled with the garage and all the cars on the lifts, he had so many questions and all the mechanics were really patient with him and showed him around, Ryne did her homework, and Ellie ran around outside like a little crazy person. Before long we were on our way and we quickly discovered that the A/C was working it hasn't been working for MONTHS and we thought we would have to shell out a few more $100 bucks to get it fixed but low and behold an added bonus with the part they fixed came AIR CONDITIONING!!!!!!!!

We still don't know what's wrong with Dane's car they haven't had a chance to take a look at it, hopefully we will know soon and hopefully it won't cost us our first born! I haven't gotten used to having the option of leavin the house and now that I don't have it any more I am feelin very claustrophobic and panicked, I just need to get out of HERE!!!! So one thing I am prayin for is a quick diagnosis and fix it job!

Car troubles and troubles!

2011-04-12T09:22:00.000-07:00

A week ago yesterday I took our Buick Rendezvous into the mechanic, the transmission as been leaking (do to bolts), sometimes it wouldn't shift, the speedometer didn't work and the check engine light has been on and with all these things wrong we can't register it. The mechanic was backed up with work so it took him a couple of days before he could look at it once he did he let me know that the speed sensor will most likely fix all the other issues, and they put new bolts on the transmission so that should stop the leaking. They ordered the part on Wednesday and got it by Friday but quickly discovered it was the wrong part! They had to re-order the part on Friday, they received it yesterday evening so hopefully(keep your fingers crossed) we will have our car later today because....

Yesterday Dane called me from the freeway his car decided to crap out on him! YUP that's right both cars are in the shop, and it really sucks cause we are running out of groceries(we were gonna go yesterday once Dane was home from work). At the same time I can think of some blessings like:

1. Ryne and I didn't end of stranded on the freeway in the rain on Saturday

2. The expenses for the other car are really low so we will be able to afford to fix Dane's car.

3. Dane's car waited to crap out once Dane was safely pulled off the freeway, other wise he would have been in trouble.

4. We have GREAT neighbor that is willing to pick Ryne up from school today.

5. Dane has a friend at work that is willing to take him to and from work.

So even though this SUCKS all around good things are coming from it, and I think maybe we can learn a lesson in patience and also in not procrastinating that seems to be our down fall at times. Anyway today we take a deep breath, say a pray and have faith everything will work out(like getting at least 1 car back today).

Ok onto other issues not car related. We have been struggling with keepin the peace with the kids lately, it seems we have a hug yell fest every day, and yesterday I had had enough (and it was only 9a.m.)! I talked to Dane and we decided a huge thing that has brought contention into the the home is the Wii it's all Kaleb wants to do, in fact he has been waking up in the middle of the night just to play, which has been causing him to act poorly in school AND at home. When Ryne tries to play with Kaleb he yells at her and she yells back then Ellie gets into it cause she's too little to play and the kids scream that in her face! LOVELY right!? I know a lot of you are askin why didn't you take it away or limit the time? Trust me we have tried, limiting the time is what has cause Kaleb to get up in the night and play, we have tried disconnecting the wii and we have even hidden the remotes but Kaleb still manages to find them and he figured out very quickly how to connect everything again. So yesterday we made the decision to take the wii away and hide the entire thing, one child(Ryne) was elated that it was gone, the other 2 sat and cried (it was like someone had died there was some serious hyperventilation goin on.)

We sat down and had a family meeting and discussed all the issues EVERYONE was having (yes even the parents)and what we could all do to fix them. We talked about the wii and decided that everyone has to earn time to play it by completing all their chores without complaints. We also put locks on the toy boxes so that once the house is picked up for the evenings things can't be dragged back out and we can spend more time together as a family. We all decided mom and dad are going to have more patience and think before we yell and in return the kids are going to be better at listening and obeying, we figure if we all give a little the yelling will stop and we won't be so irritated all the time. Now the biggest question Ryne and Kaleb had was "what about Ellie", Ellie has been screaming like crazy lately and boy does that girl have a temper! We explained that she has learned that behavior from EVERYONE else and that if we change the way we act she will follow, but that it's not going to be easy and we are all going to need to be patient with Ellie and ourselves.

I'm also going to try other things to help easing the tension like playing more feel good church music, whenever I put a primary cd in it's like night and day moods all around change so we are going to use this method more when tension is high. One thing I told the kids that helps me a lot is before you react ask yourself if you want to be treated the way you are about to treat that person if the answer is no the re-think how you are going to react, they seemed to like this idea. I think the biggest thing that will help start with Dane and I if we can show the kids we are making a huge effort into bein better that they will all follow. So we shall see, wish us luck!

Home Based Business Expo Info

2011-04-06T19:19:00.000-07:00

Ok so many of you have asked about the Expo I am doin this weekend. Here's the info

Saturday April 9, 2011

11 a.m. - 3 p.m.

Trinity Christian Fellowship

50 South McQueen Rd, Chandler Az 85225

( McQueen Rd between Chandler Blvd and Frye Rd)

It's for the 2011 Chandler Relay for Life so come check it out if you click on THIS link you can see what other vendors are going to be there. It's a great excuse to get out of the house, so come on over show some support.

Hope to see ya'll there!

Update

2011-04-05T10:32:00.000-07:00

I have been really busy this week getting ready for a home based business Expo this weekend, I thought I had a lot of stuff but when I looked at everything I realized I don't have jack, so this week is my crunch time, I have been crocheting like crazy and neglecting other things like the laundry, floors, dishes, and blogging!

I don't have a lot to report I am finally starting to feel better, even though I am exhausted all the time. I had an appointment last week and there is still "product of pregnancy" left but this time it was barely visible on the ultra sound, and there is no sign of infection so they aren't worried about it, more medication was given to flush it out, apparently the exhaustion is normal even 2 months after, my body is still workin over time to get the rest out. Once it's gone I should be feelin better physically, emotionally I'm doin ok I have to admit when people that I know that are pregnant (which is just about everyone) announces progress, or excitement I get jealous and think that it's not fair. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad, there are just same days I can't handle it I want to be happy for people but some days I just can't. Hopefully my friends understand that.

Ok enough drab talk. Yesterday after Kaleb got home from school he wanted a bowl of cereal I was busy doin something else when he asked me to help him with it, I told him to hold on a sec and I would help. A few minutes went by and I have to admit I forgot about it (I've been doin that a lot lately) he expressed his frustration with me, I told him I was sorry and that I would be right there, a few more minutes went by, as I was walking to the kitchen Kaleb met me in the hall with a bowl, the cereal and milk he handed them to me and said "here do your job!" SERIOUSLY!? Where the heck did he get that from? I wasn't very happy about it but instead of gettin mad, I just responded with "really?" then he timidly said "Well isn't that what moms do, they take care of their kids, and feedin me is takin care of me." then there was a pause as I was thinking about his response, then he reached over and gave me a hug sayin "Your the best mom ever, love you". My heart melted although I think the last bit he threw in there just to make sure I would get him his cereal!

5

2011-04-01T09:51:00.000-07:00

So Thursday the 31st was Kaleb's birthday he turned 5!!! Normally I feature him on the o'l blog for his birthday but things got away from me and I didn't get a chance too. Kaleb wanted to have a party with his best friend Logan he wanted to have a sleep over but, Logan couldn't sleep over that weekend so, we went to plan B and took Kaleb to Chucky Cheese's we had a coupon and the kids had a BLAST!

I couldn't find my camera before we left the house so this is the only pic I got of Kaleb with my phone.

After we ran out of tokens we went home for dessert and presents. Some of you know I struggled with ideas for a "cake" Kaleb doesn't like cake and every time I asked what he wanted he just shrugged. I got some great suggestions via facebook, a lot of people mentioned fruit pizza, Kaleb like the idea "but kids are suppose to have sugar on theirs birthdays!" so I thought about it and decided to make a big cookie pizza and have toppings, I made some chocolate whipped cream for the sauce, and for the toppings we had mini Reese's pieces, white chocolate chips, chocolate chips, marshmallows, mini m&m's, Hershey syrup, strawberry syrup and Carmel syrup. The kids got to make there own and they LOVED it, it was such a big hit!Here's Kaleb's "sugar coma" (as I dubbed it) and I didn't get a pic of the chocolate drizzled on top!After Kaleb was done makin his dessert pizza, we whisked it away to put the finishing touches on it!He was so happy!Makin a wish!Opening presents, Dane got him this Optimus Prime snuggy, he's always complainin he's cold(when the rest of us are sweatin) so he was really happy about this.Ryne picked out this Thor Helmet and Hammer, it quickly became one of his favs.

One of the things that Kaleb really wanted was a Batman cape (no surprise there) so bein the good mom that I am I made him one at the last minute (I'm gonna do a tutorial on this on my craft blog so keep an eye out)and when I say last minute I mean the night before! Anyway he loved it

and so did Ellie!

There HERE!!!!

2011-03-24T09:02:00.001-07:00

Our family pictures that is (SQUEAL)!! I am so excited they turned out FABULOUS! I have to say I wasn't sure if Christine(our photographer) was able to get any really good shots of the kids, the whole morning felt chaotic, and it didn't help that Ellie fell flat on her head when we got to the place to take pictures creating a goose egg on her little forehead which of course made her cranky and un-cooperative!But Christine did a FABULOUS (did I say that already)job, I love how she captured my kids energy and spirit in the pictures, they are so full of life just like my kids!! Ok ok so here are a few of my favorites and there are more to come Christine is still editing some, I can't wait to see what other pics she has for us!

To keep the kids happy every once in awhile Christine would have the kids give her their silliest face, Ellie gave her her crazy face! Can you see the bump on her head? Lookin at the pic it's on the right side just above her eye. I was frustrated when she fell and hurt herself but ya know, it adds character!I am in LOVE with this one of Kaleb and Ryne. Christine captures Kaleb's mischievousness and Ryne's attitude PERFECTLY!I think this one is beautiful, and it really captures how Ellie is ALWAYS on the go!

THANKS Christine for some FABULOUS(there's that word again) photos!!

Pippy

2011-03-23T10:20:00.001-07:00

Tinkerbell LOVES to play with the kids but she tends to be a little rough with them. While we were at my parents last summer she had a blast with there dog Kulo(also her sister), they would run and play all day and have a blast and the kids would go through the day unscathed! So since then we have been talking about getting her someone she could play with, but that's all it really was TALK until I mentioned it to a friend and it just so happened that her sisters dog had just had puppy's and they were tryin to find homes for them! YAY the only thing was that they were in Idaho YUP Idaho, but it's all good my friend was planin on vistin her family for Spring break so she brought the puppy home for us.

Meet Pippy...

And if you think she is named after Pippy Longstocking you would be right! Ryne named her and really it describes her perfectly. She is a Chorkie (Chihuahua/Yorkie), she is so tiny and lovable, she just loves to cuddle on your lap. She learned pretty quickly that she could fit under the couch and hide from chasing little hands! Ellie loves Pippy but doesn't know her own strength so goin under the couches has become a regular thing, and Ellie throws herself down on the floor and screams till the puppy comes out again!

We just love her and Tinkerbell does too, all they do is run around and chase each other! Pippy loves to engage Tinkerbell in racing matches, then at the end of they day they curl up next to each other and dream about tomorrow!

Saturday Fun!

2011-03-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday was a busy day. We started the day at 6a.m. gettin ready for family pictures. We had our pictures done at 9, after that we headed over to the Stake Building for the Family Preparedness fair. The kids loved it or should I say they loved the bouncy houses and fire trucks! Someone talked the fire department into shootin the hose from the ladder into the ball park, so anyone who wanted to could cool off! My kids were of course the first ones out there, Ryne got in the perfect spot cause when she came back she was completely drenched, Kaleb on the other hand was just a little wet. Anyway they thought it was the coolest thing EVER, I think at the moment they turned the hose on Kaleb decided he wanted to be a fireman!

My kids are somewhere out in the middle of that crowd!Ellie was so tired, she fell asleep eating her cotton candy on the way home!
Kaleb and Ellie both ended up taking naps, then we decided to take them to see Tangled and we LOVED it definitely one to own. Then we took the kids to The Cheesecake Factory and let's just say that was quite an adventure! But we figured Spring Break could go out with a BANG and it did it was worth all the exhaustion!

St. Patrick's day Picnic

2011-03-22T15:18:00.000-07:00

Last week was Spring Break for the kids, on Thursday we decided to take a picnic and go to the park. It was a beautiful day, and the kids had a blast.

Takin a break.Ellie loved this bouncy thing.

Immediately after this picture was taken Kaleb fell, bruised his neck and got a good cut right under his chin! The first words out of my mouth were "Really!? Right before family pictures FANTASTIC!". Ryne said she thought it's cause he wasn't wearing any green "cause ya know it's St. Patrick's day and he ain't lucky without green!", Kaleb yelled for the whole park to hear "MY UNDERWEARS ARE GREEN!!" meanwhile he was getting ready to prove it to everyone! I had to hurry and jump in and explain that we believed him!

He decided to chill for a few after he fell.
We had a nice afternoon, all the kids ended up takin a nap which was really great for me! It was a nice quiet St.Patrick's Day.

I did me some crafting today check out my craft blog to see what I've been up too!

Aloha Festival

2011-03-14T17:26:00.001-07:00

We decided to take the kids to the Aloha Festival at Tempe Town Lake on Saturday. We had a lot of fun even though it was 90 degree's out!

The kids posin before we went in.
Some of the dancers we saw.Ryne like tryin to copy the dances they were doin, it was cute.
We got this umbrella for Ryne cause it was so hot, they needed some shade. Ellie really liked the umbrella too. Watchin the ducks, while eatin lunch.I really like this one of Kaleb and Ellie, they were mesmerized by the ducks.While we were eatin lunch this group of women and yes men dressed in wedding dresses walked by, not sure what that was about but people were entertained.Me and the kiddos.

On the long walk back to the car Kaleb had us using our imaginations, we were in dangerous jungle! We climbed tree's, jumped over giant holes, swung from vines, got chased by a bear, and got stuck in the mud! It was quite an adventure, people stared at us I'm sure thinking we were crazy, some even laughed but the kids didn't care so neither did I, we made a fun memory with the kids that's all that matters!!

Dreading today.

2011-03-08T07:58:00.001-08:00

Today was suppose to be a happy day, we were going to find out what we were having and finally put a stop to the bickering between Ryne and Kaleb. It's a hard day for me, especially since I have to go in and have the ultra sound to make sure everything is ok and there is nothing left, I also find out the results of the testing they did on the baby. I have to do this alone, Dana can't take anymore time off work, times like this I really wish I had family close by. I have been praying since yesterday that I will have enough strength to get through the appointment without breaking down.

Even though I don't with every fiber in my being want to go to this appointment, I need to know that everything is back to "normal" so I can start to heal. It's hard to move on from something when it's still physically happening. I am truly thankful for all the support that we have gotten through all of this, hugs have been the best medicine. I need to take a deep breath and get ready for the day and my appointment.

Little Stinker Pot!!

2011-03-07T13:27:00.001-08:00

I made another cute crocheted hat, this one was for Ellie (here's the other one if ya want to see it). I thought I would get some pics of it, but my little stinker had other plans. We started out by the front window where there is great lighting, but someone didn't want to face the window the the picture wasn't dark!

My attempt at turning her to face the window resulted in this tantrum on the floor...and this OH look what I found moment.Then I got her to face the window for about 2 seconds resulting in this blurry shot!In this one she is telling me 1 more picture.
I decided to take her into my room where the lighting is even better and she could sit on my bed and play with something while I got some good shots. Well here's what happened when I tried that, she laid on the bed, refused to sit up and chewed her fingers...

more chewing, but at least this time I got a good side shot of the hat!

and even more chewing, she added a great big smile for me this time. I think this look/smile says "Am I giving you a hard time!?" (add sarcasm)
and this look says "I'm so cute ya can't be mad!"
I finally sat her up against my pillows and got this shot before she....
ripped the hat off and....then tried to put it back on.
I finally gave up and started messin with some other stuff when I noticed she was being very still and quiet so I snapped these as quickly as I could before she noticed!

She noticed but I finally got a good front shot!

And this is why I never use my 2 year old as a model! She exhausted me in the 10 minutes it took to get these pics! I thought the hat turned out cute and I thought it was even cuter on my little stinker pot!

Throw yourself into it.

2011-03-03T19:39:00.000-08:00

I have never really liked to do house work, in fact every week without fail I would complain about the dirty dishes, dirty laundry, and toys all over the house then I would reluctantly make sure everything got picked up and cleaned. It's not that the work is hard in fact most the time I find myself done within an hour (especially if the kids are co-operating), I think it's more the monotonous of it, the same thing day in and day out, it's a cycle that never ends. I have never been thankful for it, till this week I have been glad to get up and have something to clean, wash, mop, sweep, etc. Now that I don't need to stay down I have been tackling the big jobs that I have been putting off like cleaning my room, I know it may sound silly but our room was a disaster area, ya could barely make it through the door, and then ya had to step on crap to get to the bed. I admit it was really gross, but ya know for the last 2 weeks I haven't cared what condition my room was in, as long as the living rooms and kitchen were clean I was fine.

Yesterday I spent almost 2 hrs cleaning the main part of the room, I left the dresses and table for today. Ya knot the book "If you give a mouse a Cookie", that's how I felt with my room once I got the room clean and all the dressers cleaned off I decided to move the furniture around, then I decided to organize the closet(except the shoes that is just hopeless), then I couldn't just stop with my room, I cleaned both bathrooms and helped the kids with their rooms. I am exhausted but at the same time I feel fulfilled, I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I have found that all the cleaning has been very therapeutic for me. When cleaning my room I ran across some stray baby things, binkies, bibs, some clothes and the jumperoo, I admit I got emotional at first I just cried then I got mad and took it out on the jumperoo I kicked it yelled at it, even said a few choice words to it, then I felt better and moved on, believe it or not I felt a lot better after that little "episode". I came to realize that cleaning is good for the soul, not just physical cleaning of the house and stuff but inside, for some reason scrubbing and cleaning every little nook and cranny in the house has helped me to look at myself and scrub and clean and get rid of all the clutter, by feeling each emotion I have on a shelf or hidden in a closet. I'm not done yet I still have a long way to go, a Sister in my ward told me on Sunday that she had lost a baby at 7 months, she put her hand on my should and told me that it's something she will never forget and that's ok. That really stuck with me, I wouldn't want to forget, this experience has truly humbled me, and taught me to not take what I have fore granted, it can be taken away at any moment.

Monday was the first time I didn't have to remind myself that I wasn't pregnant anymore, things went on as they normally do. Now I am far from being back to my normal self, but with each new day I do feel better, some days are definitely harder than others, and I have to work a little harder to maintain me composure. I have realized that I don't cry or get angry at every pregnant women or infant I see, I still hurt and I'm still somewhat angry but I have learned it's not them I am angry at. The kids say things once in awhile that when this all started I would cry at but I'm finding I can actually compose myself and answer their questions, I've learned that I can let them see me cry, it's ok for them to know that adults hurt too. The kids have been pretty sensitive with me and it has surprised me quite a bit, I didn't think they would understand but surprisingly they do, when of my favorite things that Kaleb did was sing "You are my Sunshine" to me one day when all I could do was lay on the couch and cry, he kissed me on the forehead and kept singing till I stopped crying, it was a very touching moment. It's funny how it's only been a couple of weeks yet I see that I am healing with each passing day, with each emotion that I express, with each room that I clean and with each word that I say. I feel that I have come a long way in such a short time, I can talk about the miscarriage without bursting into tears, although I loose it when someone shows me kindness or gives me a hug, it's nice to know people actually care.

Dane and I have been talking a lot about it, he has been struggling emotionally this week. I thought that if I saw him crying I would break down too, but surprisingly I have been able to be strong and talk to him about our concerns and fears for the future. Right now I am terrified at the thought of becoming pregnant again, we have never been planners when it comes to having kids we feel when the time is right it will happen and that has never scared me till now. I have expressed this many times to Dane, it wasn't until this week that I knew he had the same concerns and fears he doesn't want to put anymore stress on me or cause me anymore pain. It has been a good thing for us to talk things threw and to acknowledge each other, and the ways we each deal with loss and grief. When we had the first miscarriage Dane had said things like this will either hurt us or make us stronger it's up to us to decided which. We have applied that same thing this time, we can let this loss tear us apart we can put blame on each other and distance ourselves or we can embrace each other and help each other threw each emotion and thought. I know with all my heart we will come out stronger as a couple in the end.

Busy Hands Make Cute Hats and Headbands!

2011-02-28T14:30:00.000-08:00

I saw a friend a last Monday at the mall and she encouraged me to sell some of the stuff I crochet (thanks Lola). I had thought about it in the past, but felt I was too busy being a mom to really sit down and do it, but since the miscarriage I have found that I have more time on my hands than I want. So I decided I would give it a shot, with the kids in school and Ellie taking afternoon naps I have a few hours of "free time" to crochet. I will be opening an etsy shop, but I want to get some inventory first. Feel free to tell me what ya think, I'm tryin to figure out pricing too so any suggestions would be nice, also any cute name suggestions would be much appreciated too! I am also going to have a craft blog too so I can keep my family blog separate and for close family and friends.

Ok enough talk here's some of the things I've done so far:
I actually crocheted this little blue bear hat before we found out that we had lost the baby, I won't sell this one but I will make more like it to sell.

I love this little flower although I did make a mistake can u see what it is?

I made this little headband for Ryne, she loves it and it doesn't hurt her head! This one is made with yarn.

I love this headband with attached flower! This one is made with crochet thread, which will have to be a more custom made thing since they don't have a lot of stretch, and need to be made to fit the head.

This verigated yellow is so springy and fun, again this one is made with crochet thread.

I just downloaded the pattern for this hat.....

(this image is from the Annies Attic website)

I can't wait to make it, it comes in adult sizes too!!

Crocheting has been a really good outlet for me, it keeps my mind busy so I don't dwell on my grief. It's also really nice to use my imagination and create fun things!

Back to normal?

2011-02-23T19:11:00.000-08:00

I was hopeful that this week would be back to "normal"(at least normal for us), we started off with a good Monday Dana had the day off so we took the kids to the mall for lunch and the play land the kids had a ball all 3 fell asleep on the way home, it was quite wonderful.

Tuesday I go up with the kids as usual, got Ryne off to school. I was sitting at the computer when there was a small pop of air and then... a gush of blood(lovely description I know) I went to the bathroom texted Dana(so glad I happened to have my phone in my pocket) and proceeded to panic! I mean I didn't know if this was normal I hadn't had bleeding for about a week up to this point. I got dizzy and couldn't even think straight, Dana talked to his manager and was soon on his way home, he called the Dr.'s office(remember I was panicking) and they said to go straight to the ER (FANTASTIC). Luckily a friend in our ward was able to take Kaleb and Ellie for us (thank you so much Laura your awesome). We got to the ER about 10:30 a.m., they got us back pretty quickly, the P.A came in pretty quick (she was a jack hole by the way). They took some blood for labs then we waited and waited and waited, then they did a pelvic exam where the PA preceded to tell me I was indeed bleeding YA THINK!!!! After the exam we went back to waiting and waiting and waiting, we thought we were waiting for the lab results turns out we were actually waiting for an ultrasound that no one bothered to tell us about. We got the ultra sound done around 3 then they took us back to the ER where you guessed it we WAITED some more! Finally the P.A. came in about 5 and said that the tech was reading on the ultra sound that there was "retaining product of pregnancy" that was not wanting to come out so, they prescribed me some of the same stuff that induced the miscarriage in hopes that it would flush everything out, the pills were finally given to me about 5:40p.m. we were told that after 15 mins we would be able to go home, well 15 mins went by then 20. I decided I would get ready to go home, but I needed to get cleaned up so Dana went out askin for something to clean up with and they told him that after I had the pills I would be able to go home, he told them I had them 20 mins ago, they realized they had forgotten about us (NICE)! The gal finally came in and discharged me, then we were out of there. Ya want to guess what time we left!? By the time we got to the car it was almost 7.

We got the kids got home, put everyone to bed, then Dane ran out to get my pain pills. On top of already being tired for waiting all freakin day long (it didn't help that I had lost a lot of blood), we had a long night ahead of us with more pain and the passing of stuff, I say we cause I couldn't be alone in case I might pass out because of all the blood loss. Dane and I were up till about 2, he went to sleep but I couldn't I laid in bed cramping and praying that this would be the end of it, and I could move on and also praying for sleep to over take me. I finally fell asleep about 4:30 a.m. then I was up by 7:30 gettin Ryne ready for school, we were so un-organized this morning we barely made it to the bus stop. As soon as Ryne was gone I went back to bed to wake up at 1.

I haven't done much today except for crochet and watch movies, oh I have done a couple loads of laundry but that's pretty much it, I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be much the same way. I am suppose to stay off my feet for at least a week which is a piece of cake when ya have 3 kids to take care of (note the sarcasm). Staying down isn't too bad once the bigger kids are off to school, I just hope the cramping eases up cause that's what really sucks right now, if I move around and keep busy I don't notice it as much, but when I sit it's horrible. You may be askin why I don't just take a pain pill, I can't when I am by myself with Ellie cause those pills knock me out even just 1 or 1/2 of one (I'm a weakling what can I say), and I dare say it wouldn't be the best thing to have a 2 year old running about the house by herself!

I want this to be all over so that I can move on, until then a friend said that ya gotta look for the positive things, so that's what I'm gonna do.

Here are some positives I can think of I'll list them with the thing that sucks then the good thing.

1- Staying down= time to catch up on reading(just got 2 new books) and crocheting, not to mention every one pitching in to keep the house clean.

2- Pain pills= a damn good nights sleep with no pain

3- Day at the hospital= much needed break from the kids, it aloud me to think, breath and just relax(as much as I could)

4- Miscarriage= more appreciation for my husband and kids, a closeness that I don't think we would have if it wasn't for this trial. I have also developed more close friendships as well, especially with those that have been through the same experience.

5- Emotions going hay wire= every one being more sensitive not just to me but to each other.

That's all I have so far, I will think of more and up date it.

Thank you to those that have brought meals in and those have helped to take care of the kids it is a HUGE help and even those that have just given me a hug, and talked to me I've really needed that I don't feel so alone anymore.

5 Stages of Grief

2011-02-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard of The 5 Stages of Grief? I've heard of some of the stages here and there, but never really paid attention to them. I mean why would I? They never applied to me....until now. I decided to look them up, the only one I could remember was anger.

Five Stages Of Grief

Denial and Isolation.
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.
Anger.
The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.
Bargaining.
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"
Depression.
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
Acceptance.
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.

This is right on target at least it is for me so far. I have done (and am still doing) #1, I don't want to be around people one friend at a time is different but I don't want to be in crowds. I just don't want to deal with the condolences and stares and whisper that follow something like this. Right now I am perfectly happy here at home with my kids (as long as I keep busy). If it was up to me I would lock myself in my room and not come out.

Yesterday the anger came, and I can't really figure out what/who exactly I am angry about. I mean yes the obvious but why? What good is that going to do, it isn't going to change it. In a way I am angry at myself I mean all the warning signs were there I just failed to recognize them for what they were. I am angry at the Dr. for not recognizing the big weight loss or the cramping I had told her about for what it was. I'm angry that I had to finish the miscarriage at home, yes I chose it but I had 3 choices the first one was to wait for it to happen on it's own, the second was to induce the miscarriage have it at home and bring the baby in for testing, the 3rd was a D and C which isn't painful cause you are numb and you don't have to see anything, but it's harder on the body. I honestly didn't feel I had a choice, I didn't want to wait because there would have been no way to know when it was going to happen, the Dr. really didn't recommend the d and c because my body was already starting to take care of it on it's on, she said it would be better for me to do it at home, although she failed to mention we would have to "collect" the baby and bring him in till after we had made the choice. I am very angry about that but at the same time grateful, in a way I needed to see him, I know that must sound completely morbid that's just how I feel. It is definitely an image that will always be in my mind. As for the d and c I didn't want to be in a room with a Dr. and nurses and an uncomfortable silence once it was all over. Those are just a few things I am pissed off about, or at least the ones I can put my finger on.

I have already found myself bargaining, praying and hoping that the next one will make it. I know several people that are pregnant right now or have been and complain about how hard it is, how miserable they are (hey I've done this too), but right now I would do anything to be miserable, knowing that there was a good reason, that every uncomfortable thing I would have to deal with would be worth it in the end.

This whole experience has woken me up, it has taught me to appreciate the 3 beautiful kids that I have. I have really and I mean really learned to take advantage of every precious moment I have with them and cherish it, because every child is a miracle. Since this has all happened the kids attitudes have changed, Ellie gives me more loves and wants me to hold her more, Marryne does everything she can to help me and Kaleb has started a new routine of me singing him a lullaby every night( I really need to learn me some more songs). I am taking more time to work with Ryne on her homework, turning the t.v. off and playing with Ellie, I'm talking kinder to Kaleb and getting better results, I am laughing with them. I realized how much I took all that for granted, I am grateful to have my eyes opened, to make amends and be the mother I should be before it's too late. I have always loved my kids, but I don't think I really understood how much I loved them until now. All of this hasn't happened for nothing, I have learned so much from this experience. I am truly blessed.

Finding the Blessings

2011-02-13T10:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday while sitting outside for the community yard sale I had time to think, which isn't always a good thing but it was this time. I had a thought "We can't choose what trials we want to endure but we can choose HOW we want to endure the trials we have." I have decided to see the blessings that have some from this, they may not be many are still blessings that are needed.

- My family has pulled together, ALL of the house work has become every ones responsibility.

- There is a different spirit in our home. We had been struggling with a lot of contention mainly between the kids, but they would yell at each other than we would yell at them for yelling (yeah you all know how it goes). The stress level has been very high because of this, but since the miscarriage instead of hearing the kids trying to kill each other, I hear please, thank you, and I love you, what a wonderful blessing.

- A sister I haven't talked to in a long time called me, it meant so much to me. I know it's an opening to start a new relationship with her, something I am truly grateful for.

- I have come to know my neighbors better. I felt a lone for a long time not really feeling like I have friends. I was wrong I am surrounded by them, and I am so blessed by there friendship and love. Thank you.

I know there are many more blessings to come, and as I recognize them for what they are I will share them with you. Thank you all for you support and love.

2011-02-11T14:52:00.000-08:00

Wednesday night was a very difficult night, I can't say it was the worst day of my life or the hardest thing I have had to do in my life because I still have a lot of life to live and a lot of trials that come with it, but it is the most difficult thing I have had to endure so far. I was given some medicine to take that would induce the miscarriage, we would have to do it at home. We decided to wait till the kids were in bed, we didn't know how long it was going to take or what to expect. At 8:30p.m. I took the first dose and starting contracting pretty quickly, the contractions were pretty mild, I took another does at 12 a.m. and by 1:30 it was over. I was exhausted and sick, my body had gone into shock, thankfully I didn't pass out like the Dr. had warned, but at the time I wished I had, even just to get away from the emotional pain. I cried till I couldn't cry anymore, then I just laid there wishing it would all just go away, but knowing we had one more thing to do the Dr. wanted us to bring the baby into her so she could run tests so we had to "collect"(her words not mine) him, I cried some more.

We went back to the Dr. on Thursday for an ultra sound just to make sure everything was gone. There we learned that the baby died around 10 1/2 weeks and the heart beat that the nurse(on Tuesday)had heard was mine and not the babies. As I learned this new information things started to make sense, like why I wasn't having to get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, why I started loosing weight instead of gaining it, why I suddenly wasn't throwing up anymore, it also explained why the cold I got almost 4 weeks ago hadn't gotten better but worse, it was also the reason for my loss of appetite. None of this information makes me feel any better in fact in some ways I feel worse knowing that for 3 1/2 weeks I didn't know or even think anything was wrong. I do feel that there was a reason for me not finding out until this week and not finding out until Wednesday, if I had found out Tuesday I would have been alone and I think the news would have been even more devastating to me, but on Wednesday Dana was there to hold my hand and catch me when I felt I was going to fall. The nurses where very sympathetic one even cried with me and gave me a very strong hug. I went home and cried, pulled myself together long enough to take care of my family, then I went to bad just wanting all the hurt to go away.

Today has been a hard day for me, the reality of it as has it me like a ton of bricks. Dana was going to take Kaleb and Ellie to run some errands this morning, but the thought of being a lone scared me. We took Ellie to do her lab work, she was so good she didn't even cry she only whispered "OW" a couple of times, we went to Hobby Lobby to get some craft supplies for the kids valentines for their teachers, then we went to McDonalds, after that we dropped Kaleb off and school and hit Wal-Mart and Game Stop, where I finally gave in and agreed to get a Wii. Once home I slept for as long as I could which wasn't long since I didn't take any percoset this time. I know that I will heal a little bit with every day that passes, I also know some days instead of moving forward I will move back, I know this all comes with the territory and I will endure it to the best of my ability and that I will let the Lord help me, cause really I can't do it without Him. In my grieving I need to not loose sight that my husband is grieving as well and that he has his own way of grieving and I should let him but at the same time and to a certain extent we need to both open up and grieve together, so far we have been doing pretty good with this, but it is easy to get lost in my own heartache.

We for those who have shared similar experiences it has helped to strengthen us and to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, we will not be in the dark forever. We are also very thankful for all the prayers that have been said for our family, we know they are being heard and we truly have felt comforted this in our time of need, we love you all.

2011-02-09T13:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had a Dr.'s appointment where I got to hear my baby's heart beat, after that I was excited to go home and announce to everyone that we were pregnant again! I put it on FB and I even added a widget on here, then around 8:30 last, I went to the bathroom only to discover I was bleeding. We went to the Dr. this morning and found out that the baby had died, it was only measuring about 10 weeks gestation, it hadn't been growing right pretty early on and finally it couldn't hold on any longer. This is heartbreaking for my family, especially since we had a miscarriage in September, the Dr is calling it really bad luck but we know that it just wasn't meant to be, it's not time for this little spirit to be here, even though we know this we still grieve for those little babies.

Last night as I prayed for understanding and I asked the infamous "why?" question the the answer I received was"It's a test of faith", then the question "what if I fail?" came to mind, then very clearly I heard the words "have faith". Having faith is never really easy, especially in times like this, trials like this can either make our faith stronger or it can make us loose faith completely, it's up to us to choose which way we will go. I think that it's because of my kids and my husband that I haven't completely lost it yet, they are my reason for holding on, they are my reason for keeping the faith that we will get through this and everything will work out the way it's suppose to and that I will receive the comfort I need. Prays are very much needed and appreciated. We want to thank all those who have already been a great help to us, we truly appreciate all you have done.

La La Lola Giveaway!

2011-02-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine is doing a bow tie giveaway on her blog, she makes the cutest bow ties, hair bows/flowers, diaper bags and the cutest little girl tutu's, go check out all of her amazing stuff at La La Lola Handmade Gifts. You can also find her on facebook.

Ellie Turned 2...

2011-02-06T09:33:00.000-08:00

Ellie's birthday was last Sunday. The morning started out great Ellie was thrilled to see balloons just for her, she carried them around all morning I had to pry them from her little hands before church! When we got to church Ellie started having diarrhea(lovely right?) , once home she was miserable, we let her nap as long as we could (she slept from 12-5). We of course woke her up for her little party and let's just say she was a little less then thrilled.

She didn't eat her dinner, and she just wanted to be held until, we turned out the lights and brought out her cake. This is a bad picture but I love the look on her face!

She was being dainty with the frosting.Present time, she has loved using Kaleb's spider man couch so we decided to get her one of her own. Her reaction was "WOW". Ryne and Kaleb "helped" her open the rest of her presents.She enjoyed all her presents but I think she loved the couch the best. Kaleb likes putting the couchs together and taking "sleep over naps" with Ellie, even Tink joins in (far left right by Ellie's bum).

Despite her not feeling well she had a good birthday. Monday I took her to the doctor (after she started running a 104 temp) and found out she had the flu, strep throat and a double ear infection! It all hit her pretty fast, after being on several different meds she is finally feeling better, I can't say the same for the rest of us!

2 year well check

2011-02-04T12:55:00.000-08:00

Ellie's well check was scheduled for Tuesday the 1st, but she decided to get the flu, a double ear infection and strep throat hence we had to push back the appointment. We went in Friday the 5th, all the antibiotics and breathing treatments she is on is working (HOORAY!) and she is fit as a fiddle (except for the cough that sounds like she is dying). Here are her stats: She weighs 25.3 lbs (25%), she is 33" tall(50%) and her head is a whopping 48(75%).

She loved reading the books they had in the room.

She didn't even notice this drawer till the Dr. opened it and encouraged her to get into it, then we couldn't get her out THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

I wish I would have gotten a picture of the stink face she was giving the Dr.. Ellie doesn't like her much (and really I can't blame her), we are currently in the market for a new pediatrician. Any who the look was classic I loved it and really had to keep from laughing, especially after the Dr. said "it's like she doesn't like me or something?" in a clueless tone, I wanted to blurt out "YA THINK!?", but needless to say I held my tongue.

Anyway back to Ellie, she is busier than ever and she non-stop talks (just like her sister). She says a lot of words and even a few full sentences like "I want more", " give me some please", "what's this?",she says no, mine, thank you, please, dog, tinker, sis, ub(for Kaleb), yes, night night, blankie, juice, milk and a tons more I can't think of. Some of her past times are to follow Tinkerbell around the house, to pet her and throw her toys and watch her chase (slide all over the floor)them, she also LOVES to take brothers toys and hear him scream, dump all the books off the book shelf in sisters room and giggles when Ryne has to pick them up, she really likes to help Tinkerbell get the trash out of the trash can, and she has a new toilet fetish (especially when she's thirsty nough said).

She is definitely growing and learning, and we love watching her do it. Every time she learns something new, the kids clap and cheer her on, I just love to see her face light up each time they do it, she is so full of life and laughter and we love every minute of it!

Table cloth to adorable outfits!

2011-01-27T17:22:00.000-08:00

Craft a Day keeps the boredom away is having a sew and tell contest go HERE for details. Ya have to make some clothing with stuff from your stash or a thrift store.

When I read about the contest the first thing I thought about were these adorable outfits my mom and I made for my girls over the summer for my 10 yr class reunion.

Ya know in the movie Sound of music where Julie Andrews makes the kids play clothes out of old drapes? Well instead of drapes my mom and I found an old red checkered flower table cloth of my grandmother's, we thought it would make some cute outfits for my girls. We paired the table cloth with some white by the yard eyelet, some white eyelet trim for the sleeves and bottom of the pants, some cute red and white flower buttons, all of which my mom had in her stash! We added a little flower on the front with a red and white flower button that was perfect....

it added just the right finishing touch! I had just enough of the table cloth left over to make each girl a matching hair bow.

I love how everything turned out. Super cute outfits and heirlooms all rolled into one how cool is that!!? Go check out the other cool cloths that have been linked up!

Beary nice hat and cuddlerific cocoon!!

2011-01-14T13:44:00.000-08:00

A gal at Dana's work does photography on the side, she's really just getting started and wants some cute props and stuff for infants. She asked Dana if I could/would crochet her some hats, baby cocoons, etc. In return she is going to do our family pictures! I'm really excited we have been wanting to get pics done we just haven't had the funds, plus Dana's parents are going to be in town at the end of the month and I think it would be great to get some grandparent shots with the kids!

She sent me some pictures of some of the things she wants, and I have gone to town finding

patterns ( a lot for free) and crocheting. Here are a few things I've done so far:

This is an adorable cocoon, I ran out of yarn it still needs a tassel on the bottom and the matching hat. It turned out cute and I love the color.

I LOVE this bear hat, isn't it adorable!? It's so freakin cute, I seriously cannot get enough of these. I have a pink one almost finished I just need to do the ears and I will post a picture later.

I have done 3 other kinds of hats but I didn't take any pictures before we handed them over, I might just make a few up to have on hand and when I do I will post some pictures! I have several other things that I will be doing including some more cocoons and some super cute diaper covers I will remember to take pictures and post them when they are done.

Echolocation and the Universe.

2011-01-11T11:54:00.001-08:00

Kaleb comes up with the most random things in the quietest moments, he really cracks me up and makes me think "where the crap did he get that from!?".

Last week Kaleb and I went birthday shopping for Ryne, while stopped at a light Kaleb asks from the back seat "Mom, do you know what echolocation is?" I was shocked by the question I repeated "Echolocation!?", "YES!!" he said "ya know it's what dolphins have they make a noise under the water and it echo's off the rocks and fish, it's how they don't bump into things! Didn't you know that?" still stumped I said nothing then to break the silence he yells from the back seat "It's like this ECHO, ECHO, echo, echo (now to a whisper)eeeecccchhhhoooo!" I couldn't help but laugh he totally cracked me up and stumped me it took me awhile to come up with where he came up with echolocation and it's meaning. For those who don't know here is the definition:

ech·o·lo·ca·tion (k-l-kshn)

n. In both senses also called echo ranging.

1. A sensory system in certain animals, such as bats and dolphins, in which usually high-pitched sounds are emitted and their echoes interpreted to determine the direction and distance of objects.

We had watched Free Willy Escape from Pirates cove the night before, the thing was Kaleb was in his room the whole time except coming out occasionally to say hi and get a glass of water. He wasn't interested in the movie at all and didn't pay attention (or so I thought) to it. They did indeed talk about echolocation and how it is used. I asked Kaleb where he got it from he said "I don't know I just heard it somewhere!". Seriously what a smart kid, even if he had watched and paid attention to the movie I wouldn't think that a 4 year old hearing it only once would remember it and be able to repeat it. I have to say I was truly impressed.

While in the bathroom doing hair Kaleb climbed into the bathtub and proceeded to close the curtain. I asked him what he was doing he peaked his head out and exclaimed happily "Putting on a show!" he then opened the curtain took and bow and started singing a song he made up about straws! Yes straws, I will be honest I did tune him out here and there, so I really didn't hear the whole song, but the part that cracked me up was this "Everyone, yes everyone loves straws, the whole universe loves SSSTTTRRRAAAWWWSSS!!". He has quite the imagination, the fact that he used the word universe was surprising. I asked him if he even knew what universe meant he smiled from ear to ear and said "YUP, it's the planets, stars and other crap!" Seriously never a dull moment with this kid around!

Birthday # 6 = Slumber Party!!

2011-01-10T10:53:00.000-08:00

Marryne had been begging for a sleep over and since her birthday was right around the corner I figured I would let her have one for her birthday. I only let her invite 3 friends (cause really I just wanted to test the waters a little first), only 1 girl was able to come 1 was sick and the other we never heard from. It didn't Ryne was a little disappointed but happy about the friend that came cause they moved away and we don't get to see them, she had so much fun with Makenna!!

Ryne wanted just cupcakes this year. I found this awesome recipe while blog hopping for Sparkling Cider cupcakes, they turned out so good. I did half with the apple pie filling in the middle and half without since I didn't know how well everyone would like the filling.

The 6 is made out of the pie filled ones, I decided to put orange sprinkles on them so we could tell which were which. Ryne loved them!

She had so much fun, thank you to Makenna for coming and Harlee for stopping by, Marryne loved the presents and all the fun she had!!

New Years Eve!

2011-01-08T11:57:00.000-08:00

Kaleb only lasted till 10:30 p.m.. The girls however lasted till 1! I wasn't gonna let Ellie stay up that late, heck I didn't think she would be able too. I thought I would her stay up as long as she was happy, and as soon as the tired signs showed I was going to lay her down, needless to say she had more energy then the rest of us!

Love this picture!Dane and the girls, I wasn't feeling very photogenic that night so this is all ya get!

We had watched movies, played games, had an ice cream bar and snacked on food all night it was tons of fun and I was glad it was low key, it made for a more relaxing evening.

Snow Fall of 2010!

2011-01-07T20:01:00.000-08:00

On the 30th of December I was startled by my neighbor pounding on my front window, my first thought was that something was wrong. When I opened the door he was laughin and tellin me "you just have to see this! It's snowing, not hail, not rain honest to God snow!" I giggled with delight I have never seen snow in the valley before it was amazing and my kids were absolutely thrilled. Kaleb exclaimed excitedly "MOM, Santa brought me snow...a little late but he brought me snow!!!". Ryne was dancing around and catching snow flakes on her tongue she loved it. Ellie I'm sorry to say was napping! It was awesome and a day we won't forget.

Christmas Sunday Dress

2011-01-07T19:46:00.000-08:00

I found some really cute matching dresses for the girls this year. I know they don't scream Christmas but I thought they were super cute anyway and this was the first time I have been able to find matching ones them. I didn't get a chance to make hair bows to go with the girls dresses but I will remedy that soon. I think Kaleb looks pretty spiffy too. All ready for 8 o'clock church (we may have been a few minutes late due to picture taking!)

Love this pic of Ellie!After we got home from church Ellie was giving Sheriff Woody hugs and kisses.

"Tis Christmas Eve"

2010-12-25T18:55:00.000-08:00

I had a hard time throwing myself into our Christmas Eve traditions, we had an eventful night the day before and I was exhausted. Anyway I finally did jump into baking but decided since I had wasted most of the day we would just make cinnamon rolls for a few of our neighbors and friends. Just before delivering the treats the kids opened their Christmas Jammies...

They were thrilled. I think it's great that even though they know they get jammies every year they are still super excited cause they don't know what they look like! Ryne was a little disappointed that I didn't make their jammies or dresses this year, I just didn't have the energy or motivation, but she was still happy with what she got. After the kids got decked out in their jammies we delivered our treats. I attempted to take a pic of the kids after we got home, but someone just wasn't having it, she screamed and cried until....
She got to jump on the bed and sing our traditional Christmas song "Tis Christmas Eve Dear Santa Claus"
Needless to say this is their favorite tradition!!
Dane really likes it too!!! :)
Ellie figured out it's easier to put the sock in your mouth then jump!
Once the kids were in bed the real fun began! Santa didn't leave till about 1:30, but his work was done and it all looked great!
Santa brought Ryne and Kaleb toy boxes he thought he would trick them by putting their toys inside the boxes then he closed the lids!
All the gifts under the tree, and Dane's Mrs. Claus's gift(in the far right corner).

Christmas 2010

2010-12-25T18:21:00.000-08:00

Santa worked super hard to get everything looking awesome for the kids, it kinda seem unfair that in only took about 2 mins to tear it all apart! Oh well they had tons of fun!

The kids were up at 6 this morning, Ellie came out and joyfully woke us up saying "HI". The kids were so excited and a little disappointed when they went to the living room and saw that Santa had brought 2 giant wood boxes and no toys! I loved the confused look on their faces Kaleb was the first to speak up "what's with the boxes?there better be somethin in them!?" We told them to open them and see and boy were they presently surprised!!

"Woody!!!! It's bigger than Grandma's woody at her house!!"

"WOW!!! I got Jessie just what I asked for!? (Sorry bad picture by mommy)Ellie got a dolphin pillow pet and a Mr.Potato Head (Santa was all out of Mrs. Potato Head) she was thrilled!!Mrs. Clause brought Dana a blue ray dvd player and.....Despicable Me on blue ray!!! The kids were even more thrilled, it's there favorite movie of the year!
Even Tinkerbell wasn't forgotten! She loves this toy and has been playing with it all day needless to say she is dog tired!!And the after math....
Ellie quickly figure out that there was candy in the stockings and she found a good hiding spot to sneak off too!
The kids were eager to vegg and watch Despicable Me while Dane and I made Christmas breakfast.

We ended the day with a Ham dinner, with Au Gratin Potatoes and baked beans, it was yummy the kids enjoyed it and we can have ham with breakfast tomorrow!

We had a very Merry Christmas and we hope you did too!

:P

2010-12-06T21:21:00.000-08:00

Just when Ellie was getting better everyone else is getting sick :P. As ya know from this post Ryne was sick on Friday, she was also sick Saturday, Sunday and Monday!! On top of that Kaleb came into my room at an unsightly hour, when I picked him up to carry him to bed I realized that he too was running a fever. I was up with him most of the night, he was complaining he was cold yet he was covered under 3 fleece blankets and I was snuggled next to him, it took him awhile to go back to sleep. Dane let me sleep in yesterday morning, when I got up Kaleb was running a 102.8 temp and Ryne was still running 101. I took them in and found out Kaleb has strep throat and an ear infection, Ryne has a double ear infection YIPPEE SKIPPY!!! They are both on some heavy antibiotics, and surprisingly Kaleb is taking his pretty well. Ellie is jealous that they get to take medicine and she doesn't, really I'm not kidding she cries every time they get some.

Dane stayed home Monday too, he started running a temp. He's stayed stayed home today as well, we think he might have strep too( which means no kissy kissy)! I really don't need to get sick right now, I'm the only one keeping things together and taking care of everyone. And really the last thing I need right now is the flu!! I really hope that by tomorrow Ryne will be able to go back to school and Dane can go back to work, cause it's really hard to get my normal chores done when I am waiting on everyone hand and foot all day!

I also forgot today that I had signed up to bring a pumpkin pie for the Relief Society thing tonight (and I don't even know what time it is at). I also had girl scout training today and it was actually nice getting out of the house. Anyway every one's temps are down so it looks like they will all be going back to school and work tomorrow *sigh* of relief, honestly I can't wait. Tomorrow Ryne has karate and girl scouts, Dane also has scouts hopefully everyone will be up to par. Alright so onto the rest of my day!

Yummy in my tummy!

2010-12-03T17:43:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday night we invited our neighbor Doreen over to watch the Christmas specials, Kung Fu Panda Holiday special, and Merry Madagascar on t.v. . We popped some popcorn and Kaleb requested I make some more cinnamon rolls, and what's better then a cinnamon roll? A cinnamon roll with chocolate chips inside!!! They were so good, and yummy I made 25(yeah it was suppose to be 24, I can't count), and by the time we went to be there were only 4 left!

Doesn't that just look so perfect and yummy!?
I love with the frosting melts off the sides like that!
We all had a fun time with Doreen, Ellie really took a shining to her and sat on her lap the whole time, it could have been the fact that the popcorn was right next to them, but I think Ellie just really likes Doreen. She doesn't let just anyone hold her for that long!

Handsome

2010-12-03T17:27:00.001-08:00

Kaleb announced at the dinner table that he needed a hair cut, "I want it like Uncle Ephans". Now that came as a shocker, cause last time I cut his hair he told me "just a little off the top, I like it long". He has worn his hair long for a long time now, and it's been his choice. Anyway I know how he likes the longer hair in the front so, I left some longer in the front then cut everything else short "like Uncle Ephans".

Check out all that hair!!!

He really likes it, he even cheered and so did I cause 1-he let me do it with no complaints and 2- I didn't screw it up!!! He looks so much older to me, and I really like the cleaner look.

He was sitting on the couch suckin his thumb and he reached up to twirl his hair, then looked at me and said "wow it's really different!".

Sick Day

2010-12-03T17:03:00.000-08:00

Ryne came into my room about 3 this morning, she said she had a bad dream so I let her snuggle with me. I told her she could stay with me for a few minutes but then she needed to go to bed, then I brushed her hair back and realized she had a temperature! I didn't push her going back to her own bed, Dana was up anyway getting ready for work so I let her stay.

So we had a sick day. Kaleb went to school at 11, even though she was sick Ryne helped me get the house all cleaned up, then she lounged on the couch with Ellie before her nap time. Ellie LOVED having her big sister around.

After we laid Ellie down for a nap we popped some popcorn and got to work on a Christmas tree that Ryne was suppose to do for school. She had some much fun with the glitter paint, I found some old beads from a broken necklace, and some mini ornaments I let her use, it was fun working with her on it!
Ryne with the finished tree, she is so proud of it!

A week or so ago our neighbor brought over some little Christmas ornaments for the kids to paint, since I don't trust Kaleb with paints (yes even if I'm right there). So I decided that I would let Ryne do it, we each painted 4 ornaments..

This is Ryne's sock
my little snowman.
We hug them on the "post" in the kitchen. I love when the sun hits them they look awesome, I guess that's why they are called "sun catchers" :)After we were done with the ornaments, we watched a movie and enjoyed a cup of chocolate milk and some popcorn. Today I realized how much I miss spending some one on one time with Ryne, I get too with the other kids but not with her and boy oh boy do I miss it. We had so much fun, as much as I want her to get better I really enjoyed our sick day!

It's a new.....

2010-11-30T20:16:00.000-08:00

Christmas came early for me, today I got a

SHINY...

NEW...

Faucet for my sink!

My other faucet was screamin for retirement! The pressure to the faucet was barely a dribble yet the sprayer had plenty of pressure cause it kept coming off and in the process spraying a stream of water straight into the air leaving a trail of water all over, creating an indoor slip and slide! Now on some occasions(4 out of 5 times) I have been lucky enough to get sprayed directly in the face and it's usually hot water, apparently the faucet thinks I need more then 1 shower in a day! Well we granted the faucets wish and we hope it has a grand time at the Dump Retirement Community! Anyhow I am very pleased and super happy with the new faucet and the fact that my hubby put it in with no complaints and no major plumbing issues!!

7 years

2010-11-30T07:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Dane and I celebrated 7 years of not always wonderful but totally worth it years! Our neighbor Doreen came over and watched the kids for us so we could go out. Now typically we go out to dinner or to a movie that's how we have celebrated anniversary's past, but this year we didn't have the funds. We decided to go to the Mesa Temple to see the lights and listen to the music program they had, it was so wonderful especially since we didn't have the kids complaining about the cold, or needing to go to the bathroom or the "are we done yet" phrase, we were able to enjoy each others company with no interruptions! After the music was over we went into the Visitors center and looked at all the nativity scenes, here are a few of my favorites.

Once we got our fill of the cold we decided to go home for dessert ( no not that kind of dessert), we got some brownie mix and had hot brownies with a drizzle of chocolate and homemade whipped cream it was supper yummy!! I have to say it was the cheapest and most fun date ever!! Thank you Doreen for watching the kids for us, we really appreciate it.

OOOHHH Christmas Tree!!!

2010-11-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

This morning after breakfast we rounded up the troops and cleaned up the house, in the process I managed to knock down our oh so beautiful 7 1/2 foot pre-lit Christmas! You read right it came a tumblin down while I was vacuuming. You see in years past we have never put the screws in the stand once the tree is in(I know dumb) until now we have never had a problem, I blame it on the vacuum! A few tears were shed by me and the kids, Ryne thought " oh man now Christmas is ruined", Kaleb just cried as did I and Dane reminded Ryne that it isn't even Christmas yet! So after I stopped crying, I rummaged through the box and found the screws, with the help of my wonderful husband we got the tree standing again, then I went to work sweeping up the glass YES glass, I had some little had blown snowman ornaments that my mom sent me a few years back, only 3 of them broke and just the bodies broke the heads were found intact so I kept them! Anyway we put the ornaments that fell off back on and all is well and right in the our world again!!
After I recovered from what will be known as "the tree incident of 2010", I decided to put up all my pics and other decor (I know FINALLY), and I have to say the house looks soooo much better!! It feels like home again. So here are some pics of that..

And this is the man who made it all possible! I love you hunny!!
And now for some close ups of the Christmas decor, our lovely Rudolf stockings.

And "Rudy" the reindeer wreath courtesy of Merlene who was getting rid of it and asked my mom if she knew anyone who wanted it!! Thanks Merlene I love it he is by far one of my favorite decorations!
Now my kitchen is no where near being done, but here is a sneak peak!

Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T19:27:00.000-08:00

We had a great Thanksgiving! It was just us this year, we really missed not being with our families, but we also really enjoyed spending it with our little family. On Wednesday the kids helped me cook the apple pie, cookies and rolls.

Last year I woke up at 5 in the morning to make fresh cinnamon rolls for the kids, I wanted them to be nice and hot when they got up and I have to admit I kinda regretted it. I thought I would pass this year until the request came via Ryne, when I told her I didn't think I was going to do it this year she retorted with "but it's tradition" even though last year was the first year we had done it! Well I couldn't say no to that, so instead of getting up super early I chose to stay up till midnight, I made the dough and baked them, then in the morning I put them back in the oven to warm and made the cream cheese frosting. Now there is no picture cause all I could think about while they were warming was the gooey cream cheese frosting and the yummy cinnamon goodness, so as soon as they were done and put on a plate they were devoured!

We enjoyed the Macy's Thanksgiving parade while we ate our rolls, and talked about the things we are grateful for. Because I did most of the cooking the day before once the turkey was in the oven I was able to sit down and watch Christmas movies with my family. The kids were dyin to eat especially when we started putting food on the table! Once we declared it was time to eat they were cheering, I don't think I have ever seen them move so fast!!

Here's the feast!

Close up of "the bird", I swear when I took this picture it wasn't blurry.
Since Dane and I have been working hard on losing weight and the kids aren't real big into pie I decided to make 1 pie this year and cookies for the kids. Dane requested an apple crumb pie it was good!!

And for the kids I made jam thumbprint cookies, we all loved them! I caught Ellie suckin all the jam out the of middle and putting the cookies back!
Ellie enjoying her pie! If your wondering why she has no shirt on it's because she got into the gravy, and I mean most of it ended up on her shirt!
He was showing us how super heroes eat pie or in his case a cinnamon roll.
Yeah scary I know, I think she is warning everyone to stay away from her pie!
We had a great relaxing day, after dinner was done and cleaned up, we pulled out the Christmas decorations and put up the tree. It was all going great till I couldn't (and still can't)find one of my sock snowmen he was in the box with the parents but then disappeared, then my neighbor (love you Claudia) scared the crap out of me when she came to warn me about the pipes (it got to 28 degrees last night!), then Dane just had to put a talking Darth Vader ornament on the tree it too scared me when I went to turn out the lights and it spoke without being touched needless to say Dane thought it was hilarious! Oh and the fun didn't stop yesterday today I had some blunders but I will leave that for another post!

Pie Day

2010-11-24T09:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was "Pie Day" at Kaleb's school, sorry no pictures I forgot my camera and my phone. When we got to the school Kaleb was having a hard time he was crying cause he didn't want to go to the bathroom, then he was upset cause he didn't think I was there, apparently threw all the tears he didn't see me. He was so excited when he saw me, he was sad that Ryne and Dana weren't there but happy that I came with Ellie. After pie Kaleb's class sand songs for us, Ellie loved clapping after each song, she even chimed in when she new a song!

We had a lot of fun, Kaleb was excited to get to come home with me. When we got home he showed me a turkey he made, and a pumpkin plant that he grew from a seed, telling me not to touch it with my fingers cause it will kill it! The kids are out of school for the rest of the week, today we are going to be baking pies, cookies and rolls for tomorrow, they can't wait! Tomorrow we are planning on watching Dane in the Turkey bowl at our church, then it will be time to get the Turkey cookin, then we will pull out all the Christmas decorations!!

Popcorn Popping...

2010-11-22T09:05:00.001-08:00

We decided to try out daddy's new popcorn popper, it is now Ellie's favorite "toy".
She puts her hand on it and says "ouch" or "hot", it has become a game she giggles every time.
She kept stealing pieces as they fell into the bowl saying "mine".
We love the new popcorn popper and it's so much cheaper then buying the bags!

Yellow Belt Testing

2010-11-22T08:42:00.001-08:00

Saturday Dana tested for his yellow belt (we find out today if he got it). Instead of getting a sitter for the kids we decided to take them, thinking they would enjoy seeing daddy test, they were excited for about the first 10 mins! When they started one of the Master's talked for about an hr, the kids were done after the first 20 mins, he had some great things to say but it just really dragged out and it didn't help that my kids had gone through all their snacks and water before the testing even began. In the amount of time the guy talked I took the kids to the bathroom 6 times, Ellie fell and got a goose egg, and they ate all their snacks(did I mention that already?) that was suppose to last all of the testing.

Once the testing started the kids were really interested, especially Ellie she imitated every hi-ya and punch! The kids were pretty good considering how long we had been there, after seeing Dana test we decided it was time to go home, somehow the wipes got taken out of my diaper bag and let's just say they were needed! Dane dropped the kids and I off and went back to support the other people testing.

I wish we had had the money for me to test as well, but at the same time I now know what to expect and how things are done.

34

2010-11-22T08:10:00.001-08:00

The 18th was Dana's birthday. The kids had been looking forward to it all week, they were so excited about the presents they got him (completely their idea). We just had a family dinner, and cake. The kids got him a popcorn popper, popcorn seeds, popcorn seasonings, and M&M's. I got him tickets to go see the Forgotten Carols next month since he's never been.

The cake, Dane asked for whipped frosting instead of buying it( I did cheat and buy a cake mix) I made my own. I got some heavy whipping cream and some semi-sweet bakers chocolate and went to town. It turned out great, everyone loved it, I thought it was comparable to a store bought cake.

"Crazy Face"

2010-11-16T09:00:00.000-08:00

The other day I talked about things that make me laugh in this post Smile it's Good for ya!! One of the things I mentioned was Ellie's funny faces. Today I was finally able to capture one of those "funny faces" with my camera phone, I absolutely love this picture I laugh every time I look at it! I love this girl and her cute "crazy face" (as Kaleb calls it) more than words can say. I hope this makes you smile.

Family Night!!!

2010-11-15T19:16:00.000-08:00

Today Kaleb, Ellie and I spent 4 hours grocery shopping! Yup that's right 4 HOURS, it's because we didn't just go to one place we went to 3(not counting getting gas), however we did get everything we need for Thanksgiving and for dinners for the rest of the month! The kids did fairly well for how long we were gone, Wal-Mart and Fry's were especially busy and I couldn't find a Turkey with a tag on it, but only paying $3.59 for a 10lb turkey was definitely worth the fight(really people were throwin elbows).

After getting home from our grocery endeavor, Ellie took a nap and Kaleb and I carried all the grocery's inside and I spent the rest of my afternoon putting away all our glorious grocery's! Dane got home around 3:30, he helped me get everything ready for our family night we decided to take the kids to see Despicable Me, then to dinner. As soon as Ryne got home we took off, the movie was great, any movie that keeps all 3 of my kids still in there seats is a GREAT movie!! The kids loved it, they didn't stop laughing and neither did I, I thought it was the best non Disney movie EVER, I loved the story and how light hearted it was, it really was fantastic. After the movie we took the kids to Ned's Crazy sub,were the kids couldn't stop talking about the movie.

It was a great night, it's one of the first times I wasn't chasing kids down the isles, standing in the back with a screaming baby, or taking kids to the bathroom umteen times, I actually got to enjoy myself. It was a fun night had by all.

Tatertots Giveaway

2010-11-13T16:39:00.001-08:00

Tatertots and Jello is having an AWESOME giveaway for For All Time Clocks! The clocks are absolutely gorgeous so go on over to Tatertots and Jello and check it out!

Smile it's good for ya! :)

2010-11-13T09:25:00.000-08:00

Here are a few things that someone said or did this week that made me laugh:

Kaleb: "Mom, your the man!"

Ryne: " I have a secret. Why do we have eyes?"

Kaleb: "Mom? Why did the monsters poop blow up in my dream?" Me: "I have no idea, it blew up?" Kaleb: " Yes me and my best friend Logan were in a box then the monster pooped and we blew up! It was strange."

Dana: "Your are weird." Me: "I know I am but what are you!" yeah I totally meant to say "I know you are but what am I!" HAHAHAHA

Tinkerbell running as fast as she can on the carpet then hitting the laminate floor and slamming into something!

Ellie's new funny faces

It's moments like these that make life good. They remind me to cherish the small things, and make good memories.

I see light!

2010-11-10T11:32:00.001-08:00

I think I am finally starting to see the light at the end on the "home makeover" tunnel! Yesterday I primed the walls and molding in my living room and kitchen, now I just need to paint. The only things I will have left to do (at least for now) is priming and painting my kitchen cupboards and putting up a new back splash. Then I will be able to start decorating I have so many ideas I can't wait! Hopefully I will have some decor stuff up by Thanksgiving, the house looks to sterile with nothing on the walls.

This week has been exhausting, last Friday I took Ellie into the Dr. to find out she had bronchitis, and pneumonia, they gave her antibiotics and albuterol. She seemed to be doing better till yesterday she spiked a fever of 102.4, I called and got her into the Dr.'s after hrs on top of the bronchitis and pneumonia she has a double ear infection that she got while she was on antibiotics! They gave her a strong shot of antibiotics and had us follow up today. This morning her temp was 101.8, we went in for the follow up they gave her another shot of antibiotics(poor girl) and prescribed her with some stronger stuff. We have another appointment tomorrow, I am hoping she will be fever less and she will have this licked. The poor girl is so miserable, she's either laying on the couch or laying at my feet crying.

I am hoping that next week will be better and we will all be in good health. I am very thankful that my doctors office has after hrs, I'm also thankful for my hubby who did his time last night by taking care of a crying baby for me, so I could get a little sleep, thanks hun I love you. I am also thankful that everyone else in the house is in good health (at least for now). Well I am off to get some painting done.

When the dust falls..,play in it.

2010-11-08T12:12:00.001-08:00

I will let the pictures tell this story!

Computer Desk

2010-11-08T08:05:00.000-08:00

We have a computer desk we are trying to get rid of, it's 5 yrs old and in very good condition. If ya want it or know someone who might please let me know, you can email me at superlamps4@msn.com. We also have an entertainment center that we are trying to get rid of also (sorry no pic).

"I give up"..

2010-11-04T17:52:00.000-07:00

Kaleb has been using that phrase all the time, especially when he is in trouble or when he is asked to do something that he doesn't want to do like get out of the shower. Through tears he always says "I give up!", I think I am going to take his advice. I'm sure your thinking what!? you should never give up, which is true with most things. So let me shed some light on what I am going to give up on:

I am going to give up on the number I see on the scale, I am going to give up worrying about it cause let's face it when I see that that number has gone up instead of down or hasn't done anything I get depressed and eat more therefore making the matter worse and more depressing.

I am giving up on others opinion of me, honestly I really don't care. My husband loves me fore me, my kids love me for me and I love me fore me and that's all that matters. And I am done trying to impress people by not being myself.

I am giving up on feeling bad for telling someone what they needed to hear even though they didn't want to listen. I am done thinking it is my fault that this person isn't talking to me, really if it really didn't matter then why get so up in arms about it. And I would expect the same thing from this person which was honesty even if it seems hurtful or if it's something that I wouldn't want to here. I wasn't cruel or mean, and I am done with feeling guilty over it.

I am giving up on feeling sorry for myself and whining about it. I mean I will probably still whine and complain once in awhile but that's just human nature. But I am giving up on giving up on myself, I haven't been giving myself enough credit lately and I am done with that.

I give up on obsessing over a clean house. Don't get me wrong I'm not going to let it get horribly messy but I am going to spend a little less time cleaning and more time with my kids. I'm not going to make cleaning a priority over myself or my family.

I am giving up on the t.v. I will let the kids watch their hr of shows then that's it. I will get up and do something constructive.

Ok so those are the things I am giving up on these are the things that I will never give up on:

Loosing weight, I am not going to obsess over it. I'm just going to keep doing what I am doing. I will eat better and I will keep up with the martial arts.
My family not just my husband and kids but my brothers and sisters
My self
My Heavenly Father I feel like with all the stuff that's been happening I haven't turned to who I needed most, I gave up praying for awhile and I am not doing it again.
I will not give up on others, I will and help them with their grief, sorrows and troubles, instead of focusing on my own.

So my advice to you is to give up on the things holding you back and keeping you down and then work hard on the things that raise you up and make you feel better.

Student of the Month

2010-11-02T19:43:00.000-07:00

Ryne's teacher called me on Tuesday to let me know that Ryne was the student of the month for her class! I was excited to hear that, she told me about the assembly where the kids get recognized with a certificate so I decided to make it a surprise and just show up. Despite Ellie not feeling well we made it to the assembly, we were in the very back against the wall, trying our hardest not to spread germs. The 4th grade did a cute little program then all students of the month where given there certificates, and of course right at that moment Ellie decided to scream and move as much as possible so the pics I got are blurry. I was cheerin as loud as I could over a screamin baby and the applause from all the other parents and students, but I wasn't heard Ryne didn't even know I was there!

This pic is the best cause one of the teachers, held Ellie for me long enough to get a nice picture, but of course as I took it Ryne's teacher started pulling them off the stage, oddly enough to get their pic taken! At least I made an effort to be there, even if Ryne didn't know it. I am so proud of her, school hasn't been easy for her she has had to work extra hard to keep up with everyone else, she has dealt with bullies and other things yet she has made a lot of progress and that's why her teacher chose her for student of the month. I love my sweet girl she is awesome!

Ward Campout 2010

2010-11-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

I am finally getting the pictures from our Ward camp out up, do to some technical difficulties. Dana took Friday the 22nd off, so we headed up to camp we got there around 11, and quickly set up camp. Then the clouds rolled in, it sprinkled a bit here and there but that was it. It was a little chilly but, that didn't bother the kids.

Look a tree with colored changing leaves!!
I have to say that Ryne takes after me in the graceful department, those of you who know me know that I am anything but graceful! Once we found a good camping stop and stopped Ryne opened the car door and literally fell on her face, hitting the only rock protruding out of the ground! She got a good size bump and some scratches on her face, it didn't keep her down for too long, a few minutes later and a kiss from mom and she was off collecting firewood.

Dane went with the Bishop to get some firewood, they a tree stump right out of the ground, with bishops truck. On there way back to camp, Bishop got a flat tire and they couldn't get the spare from the underside of his truck, so they had fun getting the tire repaired and put back on :)
Kaleb like helping put fire wood on the fire.

Ellie was pretty fascinated with the fire, I had to keep a really close eye on her.
Kaleb and Ryne enjoyin the fire!
Bonn fire anyone!? That stump burned for a long time!!
On Saturday the kids got to see their first centipede! I have to say it was a little creepy. Ryne pointed out "it's dressed for Halloween cause it's orange and black!".
Ryne showin me her little acorns she was finding. I collected some fall colored leaves for a project.
We really enjoyed time with our family and great friends. I loved how close the camp ground was, it was so beautiful. It was great getting away from the t.v. computer and other distractions of life, I love camping for that reason we actually get to spend some quality time together.

HaPpY HaLlOwEeN!!

2010-11-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

Once home from church the kids got all dressed up and ready for some trick or treating. First stop our house!! Kaleb was just so excited to go trick or treating that I didn't get a picture of him by himself.

Ryne just had to trick or treat at our own house, here she is with her pumpkin light. Ellie stayed home with me to hand out candy ( I wasn't feeling good), she did get to go to a couple of the neighbors. She's sayin "cheese" in this pic. She didn't care for her Raggedy Anne costume so I got her this cute Halloween outfit for her to wear.
Headed across the street sayin "more ease".
Group pic after everyone was home, can you tell they are exhausted!! I made a mask for Kaleb cause he broke out from the Halloween makeup, he put it in the depths of his Halloween back and I really didn't want to dig it out for the pic.
They had a great and safe Halloween, I hope you all did too.

Pumpkin Night

2010-11-01T13:01:00.001-07:00

After Dane got home from his Scout training on Saturday we carved pumpkins and watched Scared Shrekless and Monsters vs Aliens Pumpkins from outer space! The kids had a blast.

Ellie with the "unkins".
Ryne's "star face" pumpkin. She was excited to do her own pumpkin she even drew it on paper first!
Kaleb with he bat pumpkin. He told Dane what he wanted and watched as dad worked his magic.
Dane's Nightmare before Christmas pumpkin, he got a lot of compliments on it!
My silly face pumpkin.
Ellie with her heart pumpkin, Ryne suggested we do hearts cause Ellie is so lovable!
The kids had a lot of fun carving the pumpkins, eating pumpkin seeds and watching Halloween movies. It was nice spending some quiet time as a family at home.

Fall Treat Night

2010-11-01T12:49:00.001-07:00

On the 28th Kaleb's school had a Fall Treat Night, where the kids got to dress up and trick or treat in the halls of the school. I forgot to take my camera, so I didn't get any pics of them in action but I did get a couple before the party and after.

Ryne and Kaleb havin a little fun before we took off. Sorry it's blurry there was a finger print on the lens, didn't realize it till after I took the pics.
Run, Flash run!!

Ryne and Kaleb after we got home from the school, they had so much fun can ya tell!?On Friday the 29th Kaleb got to go trick or treating at a Retirement community with his class, and Ryne had a Pumpkin Party in her class (she was disappointed she didn't get to dress up :( ), they both had tons of fun!!!

What a week!

2010-10-27T18:50:00.000-07:00

This week has been a busy one, we have been so busy cleaning and moving bedroom furniture around, going to martial arts class, on top of our normal everyday stuff. I haven't really had a chance to sit and relax.

Remember my big plan to take away the kids toys? I figured the house would stay cleaner, lets just say that the house has stayed relatively clean but the kids rooms have gotten worse if that's even possible. Where toys use to be now there are dirty and clean clothes, shoes and random things like cups and forks. I kept askin the kids to clean their rooms, their idea was to shove everything in either the closet or under the bed. I finally had enough on Monday I made Ryne clean her room before school (since we were up at 6:30 and she didn't have to be on the bus till 9:30) I pulled everything out from under the bed and out of the closet and she did a really good job of putting everything away were it belonged.

Since she did such a great job I decided to take down the crib and move the bed around. I have been wanting to do it for months but I just didn't have the motivation or patience. All I needed was to see the room really clean. Ellie cried when I took the bed down, even though she hasn't slept in it for over a month now. She only cried for about a minute then she helped me carry the crib out, she has really enjoyed the clean room she spends a lot more time in there which is nice for me.

We just cleaned Kaleb's room I didn't want to move it around more than once ,since we are going to move him into the old sewing room(which I still have to clean). I did move his dresser out of the closet and had him help me organize it, and surprisingly I haven't had to decipher which close are clean or dirty, it's been quite nice. I spent the rest of Monday doing laundry, dishes and deep cleaning the kids bathroom. Once the kids got home it was a rush to do homework, dinner and get ready for Taekwondo.

Tuesday I was busy working on the rest of the house, and doing things like emptying out the vacuum bag cause we don't have anymore and I couldn't stand my floors anymore, I finally finished the laundry too (it only took me 3 days!). Then the kids got home and it was a mad dash to get homework and dinner, then we ran off to Taekwondo again this time it was 2 hrs, by the end of the night the kids were exhausted!Today I cleaned the rest of the house, swept and mopped, did dishes, took out the trash, took the baby crib to the shed along with a few other things. Ryne had Karate tonight, but we decided to opt out, I really didn't want to have to rush dinner and homework. I wanted to be able to spend some time with my family, Dana still had scouts but we had time to take a walk and let the kids play outside before he had to go. Ryne wasn't too crushed about not going to class and she can do a double class next week to make up for this week.

I wish I could say that today was the end of my bust week but it isn't, tomorrow I am going to a morning Taekwondo class once home from that I will most likely tidy up the house and start preparing for dinner, and the kids getting home. We will have another busy night Kaleb's school is having a "Fall Treat Night", the kids get to dress up and trick or treat around the school, and have a costume parade I'm sure it's going to be cook Kaleb is stoked. Friday Kaleb's class is going to a retirement community to have a costume parade and to trick or treat, then that night Ryne school is doing a Spooktacular Movie Night and since we are going to Kaleb's thing on Thursday we can't miss Ryne's thing on Friday! Saturday Dana is going to Little Philmont for scouts, I have nothing planned for that day but I am sure something will come up! I think next week will be a lot slower, although the kids will be doped up on candy!!!!

Who decides?

2010-10-21T12:39:00.000-07:00

The other day I wrote about some trouble Ryne has been having at school. I wish I could say that things are getting better but they aren't they are getting a lot worse. This little girl that has been making fun of Ryne has gone from teasing her about her hair to teasing her because she is white and she has "white people hair", Really? racial slanders at 5? Ryne has come home in tears because of this, I have asked her if she is telling her teacher she says yes but the girl (and her friends) don't stop. I have a parent teacher conference tonight and will be discussing some things with the teacher like where in the world does a 5 year old get the term "cracker" from? Yes that's right she told Ryne to get away from her "cause I don't play with crackers" how do you explain that? I had to talk to Ryne about it when she asked what it meant, not a conversation I ever thought I would have with my 5 year old. What was once in awhile teasing has turned into everyday bullying, and I will not stand for it.

As this is happening to Ryne I am reminded of the crap that I went through growing up, the teasing because I didn't dress the way they did, because I befriended people they didn't like, I had curly hair instead of the ever so popular straight hair, all in all because I was different, I was even disliked because I was actually good at something (that they ruined for me). I was so happy to move away from my tormentors when I was 15, things got better because I adapted the attitude that I just flat out didn't give a damn about other peoples negative opinions of me. At my new school I tried to be friends with anyone and everyone that wanted and needed a friend. I can't say I wasn't perfect and didn't talk about people behind there backs, cause let's face it no one is that perfect but I did try. I would think to myself "how would I feel if someone said or did that to me?".

I have wondered many times who? Who decides all this popularity stuff? Who decides if you are friend material? Who decides whether or not your clothes are "cool"? Who decides if your pretty enough, or cute enough? Who decides if your thin enough? Who decides that color matters?Who decides what fads are in or out? One more question who decides when it's going to stop?

I am refusing to sit back and let my child get bullied because she is different. Look around people NO ONE person is EXACTLY the same, if we were what kind of world would we live in. Parents be a good example to your kids, don't make a snide comment about the clothes someone is wearing, or how big they are or because of what they look like, kids pick up on stuff like that and repeat it. People ask where is all the negativity towards people coming from? It's coming from parents who don't teach their kids any different, it's coming from parents that tell their kids to "suck it up" or"your exaggerating" when they get teased, stand by them teach them how to handle it, teach them that they don't have to take that crap but they can still be kind to those doing it to them. Teach them that they MATTER that you love them for who they are, teach them to love themselves. And to the parents of kids who are the ones teasing a bullying, LOVE them, show them that they are important, that they don't have to put others down to make themselves feel better.

I have been following a fantastic blog Single Dad Laughing, I have been inspired by him to put out my thoughts on bullying. Bullying of any kind should not be tolerated, I really like his post today called" Are we all talk, or are we going to fix this?" it's time to act and do something yo stop the bullying, it isn't going to fix it's self so I ask again, Who decides it's going to stop? Look in the mirror it has to start with you, whether you are the bully or the one being bullied, maybe you have never been bullied or teased but you have seen it happen and done nothing, it starts with you take a stand on it put being popular and fitting in on the back burning and put your feelings and others feelings first.

Trunk or Treat

2010-10-16T20:58:00.001-07:00

Our Ward had the their Trunk or Treat on Friday, the kids were so excited. We had a busy day planned, we got up early to run some errands once home a friend came over and I helped her make a hat for her costume. While Ellie took a nap Ryne and I made these goolish mummy cupcakes for the Trunk or Treat, they turned out great and were a big hit!
Ryne and her new friend Kaelah showin off their costumes in the little costume parade.
Doesn't she make the cutest Alice!? She was so giddy it was great!
Kaleb as The Flash, he wouldn't look at the camera so this was the best I could get!I think Kaleb's costume is very fitting for him, considering I can't get him to stand still, and I sure can't keep up with him he truly is "THE FLASH!"
Ellie as Raggedy Anne, she wore the red wig for about the first 5 minutes of the party then ripped it off, and she smothered her makeup a couple of minutes after I put it on. Everyone seemed to know who she was suppose to be without those things so it was all good and she had a blast running and chasing the older kids.
Can you guess what Dane went as? He has a bat and he's a man, get it BATMAN!!!! :)
I went as a Hippie and I think it's sad to say that I was able to just pull these clothes from my closet! Ellie and I chillin on the couch after the party. The kids had so much fun, they loved showing off their costumes.

Poor girl

2010-10-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

This morning I got up to find Ryne and Kaleb quietly sitting and watching cartoons, I was surprised that Ellie wasn't up yet. I decided to go check on her, as I approached the door I could hear a faint cry, I opened the door expecting her to be on the floor crying to get out but she wasn't anywhere to be seen. I followed the cries, her head was stuck between the head of the bed and the wall! She was really stuck, I had to pull the bed out to get her out, once I was comforting her I realized she had been like that for awhile when was drenched head to toe in sweat, her poor face was as red as could be and she could barely breathe. I felt horrible how long had she been like that? and why didn't I hear her? The way her head was stuck she was facing the ground, so her sound was pretty muffled but still I felt bad, I should have checked on her sooner.

Ryne said that her and Kaleb didn't hear her crying if they had they would have come to get me. I knew this and I wasn't placing any blame on anyone. Poor Ellie was pretty mellow this morning, she didn't want to eat she just sat in her high chair, I was getting a little concerned but after about an hr she was back to her old self again. She does have some pretty nasty bruises on the side of her face, if ya don't believe me check it out.

She was crying in this one cause I was tryin to put a cold wash clothe on it and she really didn't like it.
Her poor ear is really tender, I thought I would try and take her earring out cause she was pulling on it and crying. But when I touched her ear she screamed. Poor thing, I really wish I could just make it all better. I am afraid to take her anywhere in fear that people will think I abused her, I'm sure when I take her out tomorrow I will get some looks!

I did pull the bed away from the wall so this won't happen again, and hopefully she learned not to try and squeeze herself into small spaces.

I was wrong

2010-10-14T09:30:00.001-07:00

Well it's Thursday and my kids have been on Fall break all week, I thought I would have gone insane by now! I have to admit I wasn't looking forward to this week in fact I was DREADING it, and now I feel guilty for even thinking that way. Don't get me wrong I LOVE to spend time with my kids, but lately Ryne has been extremely mean towards her brother which induces a bout of the whines and screams, and "MOM, Marryne beat me!" or "MOM, Marryne is teasing me!", and when I say "beat" I don't mean like physically beating I mean EVERYTHING is a race and she "beats" him just about every time. A lot of this behavior has been kept to a minimum when she is at school, so I really wasn't looking forward to a week of them spending 24 hrs together. I wasn't looking forward to constantly having to send them to their rooms, or put them in time out, I really wanted to be able to enjoy them but didn't think that was going to happen.

I have to admit I was wrong. The kids have been really great this week, they have had a few squabbles here and there but that's pretty normal for most kids. They have let me sleep in, the last few days which has been really nice. We have been spending more time out of the house and that helps a lot. Ryne has made some new friends in the neighborhood, one of which lives 5 doors down she has been spending a lot of time at her friends house and outside(only if I can see her out the front window). Kaleb has felt a little left out ,cause I don't let him go but I have been making up for that by doing some fun things with him. When they are together they have been playing nicely with each other.

I haven't been giving the kids credit. Instead of seeing how good they can be I have been focusing on how bad they can be. I have been wanting to go to a Tai Chi and Taekwondo class with Dana, but we don't seem to be able to find or afford a sitter, many times Dana has suggested we take the kids with us, there is an area where they can play and watch and they are welcome. I have snubbed this idea every time cause I just thought I knew how they would act and I didn't want to have to "deal" with it. Dana didn't listen to my protests he got the kids ready to go, and was waiting for me, I reluctantly went. I thought that it would be the biggest disaster ever, and then Dana wouldn't be inclined to ask again. I ended up eating my words that night, the kids were wonderful and we were there over 2 hrs! Ellie played great in the pack-n-play with a few toys, Kaleb found a Superman toy that kept him really busy and QUIET, Ryne watched Dane and I most the time and took care of Kaleb and Ellie when necessary. I thought for sure after Tai Chi I would have to keep them quiet while Dana continued with the next class, but they were fantastic, I helped Kaleb fix a couple of the toys, then continued with the next class. By the end of the class I felt great, out of breath but great. I was so proud of the kids that they all got ice cream when we got home they were so happy and Dana was right we didn't know how they would act till we tried. I was really glad we did, now that doesn't mean that they will be this good every time and hopefully we can get a sitter here and there, but it means that they have the potential to be that good every time. I underestimated my kids, I assumed that they couldn't be that good, I was wrong and to them I say I am sorry, you guys are the best kids a mother could have and I love you so much.

My kids were part of the reason I didn't want to go to the class that night, the other part was me I have been very anti people lately. I don't want to be around anyone but at the same time I know I need to be. I met some really great people that night, I gained a lot of confidence in myself and I felt so rejuvenated. I am definitely going back in fact we are doing a class tonight and we are taking all of the kids again and I am not worried or stressed (which is big for me). I am glad that my husband was brave enough to pass through choppy waters to get me to go to the class that night, he got some really scary glares from me and maybe a few not so nice words. He was persistent, and that was exactly what I needed at the time. I love you hun, thank you.

So with that I feel better about the weekend, physically and emotionally I have confidence that I can handle whatever comes my way and I have my wonderful, fantastic family to thank so THANK YOU I love you so much.

Basic Math

2010-10-11T13:25:00.000-07:00

I slept in till 9:30 this morning it was wonderful, maybe Fall break isn't going to be so bad after all! I went to the fridge and found that we didn't have enough milk for breakfast, such a pain I really didn't want haul all 3 of my kids to the grocery store for a gallon of milk! I knew we wouldn't last and hr without it (its Ellie's main choice of beverage), so after a 1/2hr of battling them the kids were ready to go, I thought this will be a quick in and out trip. Before we left the house I had the "No whining, crying or throwing a tantrum cause we are only getting milk"talk. We went in without a hitch got the milk went to the "20 items or less"lane where we waited for a 1/2 hr YES you heard me a 1/2 hr. Apparently the cashiers till wasn't working, and the man in front of us gave her a $100 and she didn't know what change to give him, she was writing it out but seemed to come up with a different amount each time! I was getting frustrated cause now my kids who were being very good up to this point were getting antsy and irritated, I finally pulled out my cell and offered the calculator to the cashier which she grudgingly took she typed in the numbers and FINALLY gave the guy the right change. She wasn't all impressed with me nor I her I mean come on you work with money you think you would be able to do a little basic math. I am no math whiz but I had the amount figured out in my head before she could type it in the calculator!

The cashier had the manager come over and fix her till. The kids were so thrilled when it was our turn, I had to keep them busy so they weren't blatantly honest with the lady. The kids told her thank you and she gave them a 1/2 smile and waved, probably glad to be rid of me, really I didn't mean to embarrass her but really. By the time we got home we had been an hr so much for our quick trip! The kids did pretty well considering, so I decided to give them a treat when they got home.