Friday's Accident

As most of you know on Friday September 20th Ellie nearly drowned in our neighborhood pool. It seems what a lot of people don't know is the truth, the news station got it wrong because they got their stories from unreliable sources, my neighborhood is in an up roar because of the lies that they choose to believe. Dana contacted Fox 10 after he heard one of the reports of the accident that stated that there were a bunch of unattended children in the pool, and that I was no where to be seen, another story was that I was sun tanning while Ellie ran on the deck slipped, hit her head and went into the pool. Neighbors accuse me of neglecting my children, and others are listening and passing judgement. Fox 10 got back with us and asked for an interview, to stress the importance of pool safety and knowing CPR, we decided to give the interview.

The quick 2 minute interview doesn't tell the whole story either, so I'm going to tell the whole story now. Ryne, Kaleb, Ellie and I went swimming Friday afternoon, we had only been there for 20 mins or so before it happened, before she slipped into the water without a sound. It happened so fast, we were playing, splashing having fun, I turned my back on Ellie for only a couple of minutes (2 at the most) to talk with Kaleb, the next thing I heard was Ryne yell that Ellie was under the water, I turned and I didn't expect to see her at the bottom of the pool, I'm not sure what I expected to see just not that. I grabbed her up, she was blue her eyes were rolled into the back of her head, when I laid her on the deck of the pool she started coughing stuff up, there was a moment of relief, I thought that's good she wasn't under long enough, she'll cough it up and be ok, but that relief quickly faded when I could hear the air coming out, but could see that she wasn't breathing any in. I started doing CPR I told Kaleb to got get help to have someone call 911, I kept doing compression's, every time I pushed down on her chest I could her the air coming out of her, I kept going, it seemed like forever before any one came, I screamed for help for someone to call 911 no one was around, finally a neighbor and the manager of the park came back with Kaleb, the manager was on the phone with 911, they all stayed out of the fenced area while I worked on my daughter.

The neighbor left for a minute and found a gal that is a nurse, I continued with CPR he came back and she was on the way. I gave Ellie a couple of breaths and nothing happened, I kept doing compression's, I gave her 1 more breath, this time it was different, this time she got the full complete breath, this time she started breathing on her own. She coughed up some more stuff, her color came back, she opened her eyes, she started to cry, SHE WAS BACK! The nurse arrived, she saw that Ellie was breathing, she positioned her on her side so she could get more out, and she stayed with her and talked with her, kept her awake, she kept Ellie (and me) calm with her gentle voice and encouraging words. I sent Ryne to go get Dana (he works from home) he needed to know what was going on. In the next moment a police officer was there, a minute later 2 fire trucks came in, they had me step back while they worked on her, she was asking for me, she was trying to get up, she wanted her "momma", they started asking questions, I mentioned she had a TBI they needed to know that, panic set in, I started shaking, I fell apart in Dana's arms, more questions were asked, they packed her up, told us where she was being taken, and told us to follow in our car.

As they were leaving with her I became aware of the crowd of people surrounding the pool, I started searching for Dana, and the kids in the crowd when I couldn't find them I started walking home, knowing I needed to change my clothes, get my other kids taken care of and get to the hospital. When they had taken her they said she was critical, we needed to get their fast. A friend took my kids for me, I cried in her arms I kept saying " I was there, I was right there, I turned my back, oh my gosh I was there, just right there." We left, I cried all the way to the hospital, the image of her at the bottom of the pool was replaying over and over in my head, the image of her blue face and rolled back eyes haunted me, we couldn't get there fast enough. What seemed like an eternity we finally arrived, we ran in, they took us back right away, I expected to see her hooked up to machines and unconscious. We rounded the corner and there she was bundled in blankets with a little teddy bear watching cartoons, she smiled as we entered the room.

The Dr. said that her condition had been changed to good on the way to the hospital, when she arrived there was no water in her lungs, she looked great. They asked to recall what happened, then they said that it was consistent with what they could see, they asked if it was possible that she had a seizure before going under, I had remembered one of the firemen asking me the same thing after I had told them about the TBI, I gave the Dr. the same answer I gave the fireman, it was possible but I had no idea if that's what happened. The Dr. explained what they normally expect with a near drowning, and from what they could tell hers seemed more consistant with someone who passes out and goes under. He explained it to me like this, usually when a child goes under they panic, sucking in tons of water, their lungs fill up fast, when someone passes out and goes under they breathe shallower, so the water intake is a lot less, he also said that there is no way of telling for sure if she had a seizure or not, but it was a possibility that that's what happened.

 This explanation actually answered some of my questions, Ellie knows how to float on her back, she knows how to push up off the bottom of the pool, and we were in 3 feet of water she could have stood up and been fine, so why didn't she? The Dr. said they were going to keep her overnight, to watch for any inflammation in the lungs, but she was doing great and could go home the next day, this doesn't happen very often with near drowning cases. Ellie slept well all night, by morning her lungs sounded fantastic, and she was chompin at the bit to go home, she had to call her brother and sisters and other family, every five minutes she asked me if it was timed to go or "when are the nurses coming?", "where's the Dr? I wanna go home".When the Dr. came in and gave her a clean bill of health and declared that she could go home, Ellie started running circles around the room! She was so happy when we arrived home, the whole incident didn't seem to even effect her at all.

Marryne and Kaleb are doing surprisingly well, they both played a major roll in saving their sisters life, and they seem to have a "eh that's what big brothers and sisters do" attitude, they aren't too shaken up about it. I can't say the same about me, I am very shaken up, I can't sleep at night because every time I close my eyes I see her lifeless body at the bottom of the pool. I replay the incident over and over trying to figure out what I could have done differently, and I come up with the same answer every time, the only thing I could do differently was to not have turned my back on her, not even for a second, I know she would have still gone under the water, but I could have pulled her up right away without incident. People call me a hero because I saved her life, I don't see it that way if I had been watching her I wouldn't have had to save her. I do credit my training and I am so thankful I knew what to do ,because it did make a difference.

Right now I feel like a prisoner in my own home because every time I go outside, I hear whispers, I see fingers being pointed at me, I get dirty looks, I am being called an unfit mother. If this had happened in a public pool, people would sympathize with me, people would say that it happens, it only takes a second for kids to disappear in a crowd and be lost, but in this instant I am being accused and belittled, because "yeah she did a good job saving her, but not a good job of watching her."- one of my neighbors told the media. It's so easy to stand back and look at other peoples life's and judge, it's easy to point out other people's faults than it is too look at our own, it's easier to pull away than it is to give a helping hand. I know Ellie's accident could have been prevented, but no mean words, or accusations can change it now, it happened I did what needed to be done, I love my kids more than anything, I would give up my own life for them in an instant. I am dedicated to my children, nothing is more important to me than them. I know eventually I will be able to get over this, I will be able to forgive myself, this is something my family and I have to work through and I know we will, so for now I will ignore the outside influence, I will hold my head high and let people talk.

I appreciate all of the love, support, encouraging kind words and prayers. God bless you all.