Acting out

Ryne had started having really bad behavior around the time that Grandma and Grandpa Lamps got here. She was having constant tantrums, she would want something and want it right in that moment if she didn't get it she would throw a tantrum, if we told her she could have it but later she would throw an even bigger tantrum. I have been at my wits end trying to figure out what the problem is, I have tried to talk to her only to get a programed "I'm just tired" answer for the bad behavior. Last night she was mad cause she wanted some root beer, I told her she could have it with dinner (which was about 15 mins away), she yelled and screamed, we told her to go to time out she just yelled and screamed some more and refused, finally we resorted to taking her kicking and screaming to her room. After about a 1/2 hr in her room she came out calm, when we tried to talk to her she just started goofing off so we sent her back to her room, finally after about an hr Dana went in to talk to her. Like any mother would do I cranked up the baby monitor in hopes to hear their conversation, but they were talking to soft. When they came out Ryne still wouldn't talk to me, that's when it finally clicked that she was for some reason I didn't know mad at me personally. Dane took her to return a movie so they could talk some more cause she wasn't ready to talk to me yet. Later when I tucked Ryne into bed she told me she "was mad at me, cause we are going away and leaving daddy" this surprised me (if ya didn't know we are going to Idaho for the summer)I didn't know that it mattered to her. The more we talked the more she told me how much she would "miss daddy" and "I am always with you, I want to stay with daddy, we already went to Grandma J's and I want to stay with daddy". After some more talking we worked it out, and everything was fine and her behavior has been so much better.

Last night while I laid in bed I thought about how I never even thought to ask the kids if they would want to go visit Grandma J, I hadn't included them in the decision and I should have. How many times we as mothers, and parents make decisions for our kids without even talking to them about it and askin them how they feel about it? My answer would be more than I should, they are people too and they have the right to put in their opinion it doesn't mean that they will always get what they want, but they should still be included and recognized. I told Ryne that I will try harder to remember to talk to her first, we decided we will start having family meetings before any major decisions are made, that way we can talk about how we all feel about it and make the decision as a whole.