There HERE!!!!

Our family pictures that is (SQUEAL)!! I am so excited they turned out FABULOUS! I have to say I wasn't sure if Christine(our photographer) was able to get any really good shots of the kids, the whole morning felt chaotic, and it didn't help that Ellie fell flat on her head when we got to the place to take pictures creating a goose egg on her little forehead which of course made her cranky and un-cooperative!But Christine did a FABULOUS (did I say that already)job, I love how she captured my kids energy and spirit in the pictures, they are so full of life just like my kids!! Ok ok so here are a few of my favorites and there are more to come Christine is still editing some, I can't wait to see what other pics she has for us!

To keep the kids happy every once in awhile Christine would have the kids give her their silliest face, Ellie gave her her crazy face! Can you see the bump on her head? Lookin at the pic it's on the right side just above her eye. I was frustrated when she fell and hurt herself but ya know, it adds character!I am in LOVE with this one of Kaleb and Ryne. Christine captures Kaleb's mischievousness and Ryne's attitude PERFECTLY!I think this one is beautiful, and it really captures how Ellie is ALWAYS on the go!

THANKS Christine for some FABULOUS(there's that word again) photos!!

Pippy

Tinkerbell LOVES to play with the kids but she tends to be a little rough with them. While we were at my parents last summer she had a blast with there dog Kulo(also her sister), they would run and play all day and have a blast and the kids would go through the day unscathed! So since then we have been talking about getting her someone she could play with, but that's all it really was TALK until I mentioned it to a friend and it just so happened that her sisters dog had just had puppy's and they were tryin to find homes for them! YAY the only thing was that they were in Idaho YUP Idaho, but it's all good my friend was planin on vistin her family for Spring break so she brought the puppy home for us.

Meet Pippy...

And if you think she is named after Pippy Longstocking you would be right! Ryne named her and really it describes her perfectly. She is a Chorkie (Chihuahua/Yorkie), she is so tiny and lovable, she just loves to cuddle on your lap. She learned pretty quickly that she could fit under the couch and hide from chasing little hands! Ellie loves Pippy but doesn't know her own strength so goin under the couches has become a regular thing, and Ellie throws herself down on the floor and screams till the puppy comes out again!

We just love her and Tinkerbell does too, all they do is run around and chase each other! Pippy loves to engage Tinkerbell in racing matches, then at the end of they day they curl up next to each other and dream about tomorrow!

Saturday Fun!

Saturday was a busy day. We started the day at 6a.m. gettin ready for family pictures. We had our pictures done at 9, after that we headed over to the Stake Building for the Family Preparedness fair. The kids loved it or should I say they loved the bouncy houses and fire trucks! Someone talked the fire department into shootin the hose from the ladder into the ball park, so anyone who wanted to could cool off! My kids were of course the first ones out there, Ryne got in the perfect spot cause when she came back she was completely drenched, Kaleb on the other hand was just a little wet. Anyway they thought it was the coolest thing EVER, I think at the moment they turned the hose on Kaleb decided he wanted to be a fireman!

My kids are somewhere out in the middle of that crowd!Ellie was so tired, she fell asleep eating her cotton candy on the way home!
Kaleb and Ellie both ended up taking naps, then we decided to take them to see Tangled and we LOVED it definitely one to own. Then we took the kids to The Cheesecake Factory and let's just say that was quite an adventure! But we figured Spring Break could go out with a BANG and it did it was worth all the exhaustion!

St. Patrick's day Picnic

Last week was Spring Break for the kids, on Thursday we decided to take a picnic and go to the park. It was a beautiful day, and the kids had a blast.

Takin a break.Ellie loved this bouncy thing.

Immediately after this picture was taken Kaleb fell, bruised his neck and got a good cut right under his chin! The first words out of my mouth were "Really!? Right before family pictures FANTASTIC!". Ryne said she thought it's cause he wasn't wearing any green "cause ya know it's St. Patrick's day and he ain't lucky without green!", Kaleb yelled for the whole park to hear "MY UNDERWEARS ARE GREEN!!" meanwhile he was getting ready to prove it to everyone! I had to hurry and jump in and explain that we believed him!

He decided to chill for a few after he fell.
We had a nice afternoon, all the kids ended up takin a nap which was really great for me! It was a nice quiet St.Patrick's Day.

I did me some crafting today check out my craft blog to see what I've been up too!

Aloha Festival

We decided to take the kids to the Aloha Festival at Tempe Town Lake on Saturday. We had a lot of fun even though it was 90 degree's out!

The kids posin before we went in.
Some of the dancers we saw.Ryne like tryin to copy the dances they were doin, it was cute.
We got this umbrella for Ryne cause it was so hot, they needed some shade. Ellie really liked the umbrella too. Watchin the ducks, while eatin lunch.I really like this one of Kaleb and Ellie, they were mesmerized by the ducks.While we were eatin lunch this group of women and yes men dressed in wedding dresses walked by, not sure what that was about but people were entertained.Me and the kiddos.

On the long walk back to the car Kaleb had us using our imaginations, we were in dangerous jungle! We climbed tree's, jumped over giant holes, swung from vines, got chased by a bear, and got stuck in the mud! It was quite an adventure, people stared at us I'm sure thinking we were crazy, some even laughed but the kids didn't care so neither did I, we made a fun memory with the kids that's all that matters!!

Dreading today.

Today was suppose to be a happy day, we were going to find out what we were having and finally put a stop to the bickering between Ryne and Kaleb. It's a hard day for me, especially since I have to go in and have the ultra sound to make sure everything is ok and there is nothing left, I also find out the results of the testing they did on the baby. I have to do this alone, Dana can't take anymore time off work, times like this I really wish I had family close by. I have been praying since yesterday that I will have enough strength to get through the appointment without breaking down.

Even though I don't with every fiber in my being want to go to this appointment, I need to know that everything is back to "normal" so I can start to heal. It's hard to move on from something when it's still physically happening. I am truly thankful for all the support that we have gotten through all of this, hugs have been the best medicine. I need to take a deep breath and get ready for the day and my appointment.

Little Stinker Pot!!

I made another cute crocheted hat, this one was for Ellie (here's the other one if ya want to see it). I thought I would get some pics of it, but my little stinker had other plans. We started out by the front window where there is great lighting, but someone didn't want to face the window the the picture wasn't dark!

My attempt at turning her to face the window resulted in this tantrum on the floor...and this OH look what I found moment.Then I got her to face the window for about 2 seconds resulting in this blurry shot!In this one she is telling me 1 more picture.
I decided to take her into my room where the lighting is even better and she could sit on my bed and play with something while I got some good shots. Well here's what happened when I tried that, she laid on the bed, refused to sit up and chewed her fingers...

more chewing, but at least this time I got a good side shot of the hat!

and even more chewing, she added a great big smile for me this time. I think this look/smile says "Am I giving you a hard time!?" (add sarcasm)
and this look says "I'm so cute ya can't be mad!"
I finally sat her up against my pillows and got this shot before she....
ripped the hat off and....then tried to put it back on.
I finally gave up and started messin with some other stuff when I noticed she was being very still and quiet so I snapped these as quickly as I could before she noticed!

She noticed but I finally got a good front shot!

And this is why I never use my 2 year old as a model! She exhausted me in the 10 minutes it took to get these pics! I thought the hat turned out cute and I thought it was even cuter on my little stinker pot!

Throw yourself into it.

I have never really liked to do house work, in fact every week without fail I would complain about the dirty dishes, dirty laundry, and toys all over the house then I would reluctantly make sure everything got picked up and cleaned. It's not that the work is hard in fact most the time I find myself done within an hour (especially if the kids are co-operating), I think it's more the monotonous of it, the same thing day in and day out, it's a cycle that never ends. I have never been thankful for it, till this week I have been glad to get up and have something to clean, wash, mop, sweep, etc. Now that I don't need to stay down I have been tackling the big jobs that I have been putting off like cleaning my room, I know it may sound silly but our room was a disaster area, ya could barely make it through the door, and then ya had to step on crap to get to the bed. I admit it was really gross, but ya know for the last 2 weeks I haven't cared what condition my room was in, as long as the living rooms and kitchen were clean I was fine.

Yesterday I spent almost 2 hrs cleaning the main part of the room, I left the dresses and table for today. Ya knot the book "If you give a mouse a Cookie", that's how I felt with my room once I got the room clean and all the dressers cleaned off I decided to move the furniture around, then I decided to organize the closet(except the shoes that is just hopeless), then I couldn't just stop with my room, I cleaned both bathrooms and helped the kids with their rooms. I am exhausted but at the same time I feel fulfilled, I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I have found that all the cleaning has been very therapeutic for me. When cleaning my room I ran across some stray baby things, binkies, bibs, some clothes and the jumperoo, I admit I got emotional at first I just cried then I got mad and took it out on the jumperoo I kicked it yelled at it, even said a few choice words to it, then I felt better and moved on, believe it or not I felt a lot better after that little "episode". I came to realize that cleaning is good for the soul, not just physical cleaning of the house and stuff but inside, for some reason scrubbing and cleaning every little nook and cranny in the house has helped me to look at myself and scrub and clean and get rid of all the clutter, by feeling each emotion I have on a shelf or hidden in a closet. I'm not done yet I still have a long way to go, a Sister in my ward told me on Sunday that she had lost a baby at 7 months, she put her hand on my should and told me that it's something she will never forget and that's ok. That really stuck with me, I wouldn't want to forget, this experience has truly humbled me, and taught me to not take what I have fore granted, it can be taken away at any moment.

Monday was the first time I didn't have to remind myself that I wasn't pregnant anymore, things went on as they normally do. Now I am far from being back to my normal self, but with each new day I do feel better, some days are definitely harder than others, and I have to work a little harder to maintain me composure. I have realized that I don't cry or get angry at every pregnant women or infant I see, I still hurt and I'm still somewhat angry but I have learned it's not them I am angry at. The kids say things once in awhile that when this all started I would cry at but I'm finding I can actually compose myself and answer their questions, I've learned that I can let them see me cry, it's ok for them to know that adults hurt too. The kids have been pretty sensitive with me and it has surprised me quite a bit, I didn't think they would understand but surprisingly they do, when of my favorite things that Kaleb did was sing "You are my Sunshine" to me one day when all I could do was lay on the couch and cry, he kissed me on the forehead and kept singing till I stopped crying, it was a very touching moment. It's funny how it's only been a couple of weeks yet I see that I am healing with each passing day, with each emotion that I express, with each room that I clean and with each word that I say. I feel that I have come a long way in such a short time, I can talk about the miscarriage without bursting into tears, although I loose it when someone shows me kindness or gives me a hug, it's nice to know people actually care.

Dane and I have been talking a lot about it, he has been struggling emotionally this week. I thought that if I saw him crying I would break down too, but surprisingly I have been able to be strong and talk to him about our concerns and fears for the future. Right now I am terrified at the thought of becoming pregnant again, we have never been planners when it comes to having kids we feel when the time is right it will happen and that has never scared me till now. I have expressed this many times to Dane, it wasn't until this week that I knew he had the same concerns and fears he doesn't want to put anymore stress on me or cause me anymore pain. It has been a good thing for us to talk things threw and to acknowledge each other, and the ways we each deal with loss and grief. When we had the first miscarriage Dane had said things like this will either hurt us or make us stronger it's up to us to decided which. We have applied that same thing this time, we can let this loss tear us apart we can put blame on each other and distance ourselves or we can embrace each other and help each other threw each emotion and thought. I know with all my heart we will come out stronger as a couple in the end.