Even though I don't with every fiber in my being want to go to this appointment, I need to know that everything is back to "normal" so I can start to heal. It's hard to move on from something when it's still physically happening. I am truly thankful for all the support that we have gotten through all of this, hugs have been the best medicine. I need to take a deep breath and get ready for the day and my appointment.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Dreading today.
Today was suppose to be a happy day, we were going to find out what we were having and finally put a stop to the bickering between Ryne and Kaleb. It's a hard day for me, especially since I have to go in and have the ultra sound to make sure everything is ok and there is nothing left, I also find out the results of the testing they did on the baby. I have to do this alone, Dana can't take anymore time off work, times like this I really wish I had family close by. I have been praying since yesterday that I will have enough strength to get through the appointment without breaking down.
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what is the reason that you don't want to break down? Crying is cathartic, it can be a healthy release of emotions that need to be released. So what if you do break down? It doesn't make you weak, it makes you a human being who loves, feels, and knows the importance of life. Go ahead and break down. You'll feel better, and it will be better for your family if you don't "stuff" the emotions. Those emotions will find their way out eventually. Let them come out as sadness for what has been lost instead of anger at those who are here with you. Love you lady, its ok to need time to heal. Take the time so you can be a whole mother and wife to those you are currently caring for. ---Lisa
ReplyDeleteI understand the impulse to pray for strength to not break down, but really, who or what is harmed if you do break down? You will heal faster, and be a more present mother and wife to those you have currently been charged with if you allow yourself to grieve, breakdown and all. There's no strength in soldiering on without emotion. Crying is a wonderful release that not only can give you an opportunity to set your emotions in order in a more comfortable way, but also there are chemicals that crying produces and eliminates in your body that can't be taken care of in any other way. Give yourself permission to heal, its OK! Love you, Lisa
ReplyDeleteLove You Heather.I'm so sad you're going through all you're doing. Feel the love of your Heavenly Father and friends. Know that the Savior has felt your pain for this...and by all means...have a meltdown and cry. It's so good for your heart. Wish I could've been with you at the appointment. All my prayers and love my sister and friend. xoxo.
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