Back to normal?

I was hopeful that this week would be back to "normal"(at least normal for us), we started off with a good Monday Dana had the day off so we took the kids to the mall for lunch and the play land the kids had a ball all 3 fell asleep on the way home, it was quite wonderful.

Tuesday I go up with the kids as usual, got Ryne off to school. I was sitting at the computer when there was a small pop of air and then... a gush of blood(lovely description I know) I went to the bathroom texted Dana(so glad I happened to have my phone in my pocket) and proceeded to panic! I mean I didn't know if this was normal I hadn't had bleeding for about a week up to this point. I got dizzy and couldn't even think straight, Dana talked to his manager and was soon on his way home, he called the Dr.'s office(remember I was panicking) and they said to go straight to the ER (FANTASTIC). Luckily a friend in our ward was able to take Kaleb and Ellie for us (thank you so much Laura your awesome). We got to the ER about 10:30 a.m., they got us back pretty quickly, the P.A came in pretty quick (she was a jack hole by the way). They took some blood for labs then we waited and waited and waited, then they did a pelvic exam where the PA preceded to tell me I was indeed bleeding YA THINK!!!! After the exam we went back to waiting and waiting and waiting, we thought we were waiting for the lab results turns out we were actually waiting for an ultrasound that no one bothered to tell us about. We got the ultra sound done around 3 then they took us back to the ER where you guessed it we WAITED some more! Finally the P.A. came in about 5 and said that the tech was reading on the ultra sound that there was "retaining product of pregnancy" that was not wanting to come out so, they prescribed me some of the same stuff that induced the miscarriage in hopes that it would flush everything out, the pills were finally given to me about 5:40p.m. we were told that after 15 mins we would be able to go home, well 15 mins went by then 20. I decided I would get ready to go home, but I needed to get cleaned up so Dana went out askin for something to clean up with and they told him that after I had the pills I would be able to go home, he told them I had them 20 mins ago, they realized they had forgotten about us (NICE)! The gal finally came in and discharged me, then we were out of there. Ya want to guess what time we left!? By the time we got to the car it was almost 7.

We got the kids got home, put everyone to bed, then Dane ran out to get my pain pills. On top of already being tired for waiting all freakin day long (it didn't help that I had lost a lot of blood), we had a long night ahead of us with more pain and the passing of stuff, I say we cause I couldn't be alone in case I might pass out because of all the blood loss. Dane and I were up till about 2, he went to sleep but I couldn't I laid in bed cramping and praying that this would be the end of it, and I could move on and also praying for sleep to over take me. I finally fell asleep about 4:30 a.m. then I was up by 7:30 gettin Ryne ready for school, we were so un-organized this morning we barely made it to the bus stop. As soon as Ryne was gone I went back to bed to wake up at 1.

I haven't done much today except for crochet and watch movies, oh I have done a couple loads of laundry but that's pretty much it, I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be much the same way. I am suppose to stay off my feet for at least a week which is a piece of cake when ya have 3 kids to take care of (note the sarcasm). Staying down isn't too bad once the bigger kids are off to school, I just hope the cramping eases up cause that's what really sucks right now, if I move around and keep busy I don't notice it as much, but when I sit it's horrible. You may be askin why I don't just take a pain pill, I can't when I am by myself with Ellie cause those pills knock me out even just 1 or 1/2 of one (I'm a weakling what can I say), and I dare say it wouldn't be the best thing to have a 2 year old running about the house by herself!

I want this to be all over so that I can move on, until then a friend said that ya gotta look for the positive things, so that's what I'm gonna do.

Here are some positives I can think of I'll list them with the thing that sucks then the good thing.

1- Staying down= time to catch up on reading(just got 2 new books) and crocheting, not to mention every one pitching in to keep the house clean.

2- Pain pills= a damn good nights sleep with no pain

3- Day at the hospital= much needed break from the kids, it aloud me to think, breath and just relax(as much as I could)

4- Miscarriage= more appreciation for my husband and kids, a closeness that I don't think we would have if it wasn't for this trial. I have also developed more close friendships as well, especially with those that have been through the same experience.

5- Emotions going hay wire= every one being more sensitive not just to me but to each other.

That's all I have so far, I will think of more and up date it.

Thank you to those that have brought meals in and those have helped to take care of the kids it is a HUGE help and even those that have just given me a hug, and talked to me I've really needed that I don't feel so alone anymore.