Rant, Rant, Rant (Yup it's one of those Posts)!

I finally got my act together and pulled my Halloween boxes out, the kids had a blast helping me decorate. I realized I had a lot less stuff than I thought, I will have to work on that I made a cute "wreath" for my door with Dollar store finds I have a few more ideas now let's see if I actually get them made this year.

So my thoughts today, I thought I was dealing pretty well till I had a conversation with my hubby tonight, then the tears started and the walls came up. He gave me advice that I am sure was given to me for a reason but right now I am just not ready or more honestly don't want to hear it. I got to thinking about why not and I came up with this, right now it's easier for me to just pretend that this thing never happened and live life. So far this has been working for me, instead of spending all day in bed feeling sorry for myself I am actually being a mom to my kids. I have been getting dressed and keeping myself pretty busy, which I think is great so my thinking seemed to be working until my hubby asks "What is it doing to the inside?". I know what it's doing and that's what I feel I can't face right now. I feel that nothing can be said that hasn't already been said. I know this is just "one of those things", I know my Heavenly Father loves me, and I know I will get through this, but right now that doesn't change the emptiness, and helplessness I feel right now and it doesn't make the pain go away and I really don't want to hear it!!I am tired of having my every thought and feeling analyzed by me or other people, I don't want to think about it that much, the more it's analyzed the more it hurts and I am to tired to take it.


I kinda feel like I am being pushed into "getting over it". This is kinda what I am hearing "ok you've cried about it for a couple of weeks, now it's time to knock it off and move on." I'm sure this isn't really what is being said it's just what I am hearing, it's how I feel I can't help it. Why do I feel that this is only happening to me? It didn't only happen to me but to me and my hubby so why do I feel that he is already "over it"? When I asked he said "Not completely." What does that mean? Expanding on that would be nice! I think I am frustrated cause I think he is holding thoughts and feelings inside ,yet he is telling me to get mine out and move on. Ok so this post has now turned into a rant post but hey I do feel a little better. I think I really needed to just put my thoughts down and take a breath. I think I will go take a bath, clear my mind and relax.