Who decides?

The other day I wrote about some trouble Ryne has been having at school. I wish I could say that things are getting better but they aren't they are getting a lot worse. This little girl that has been making fun of Ryne has gone from teasing her about her hair to teasing her because she is white and she has "white people hair", Really? racial slanders at 5? Ryne has come home in tears because of this, I have asked her if she is telling her teacher she says yes but the girl (and her friends) don't stop. I have a parent teacher conference tonight and will be discussing some things with the teacher like where in the world does a 5 year old get the term "cracker" from? Yes that's right she told Ryne to get away from her "cause I don't play with crackers" how do you explain that? I had to talk to Ryne about it when she asked what it meant, not a conversation I ever thought I would have with my 5 year old. What was once in awhile teasing has turned into everyday bullying, and I will not stand for it.

As this is happening to Ryne I am reminded of the crap that I went through growing up, the teasing because I didn't dress the way they did, because I befriended people they didn't like, I had curly hair instead of the ever so popular straight hair, all in all because I was different, I was even disliked because I was actually good at something (that they ruined for me). I was so happy to move away from my tormentors when I was 15, things got better because I adapted the attitude that I just flat out didn't give a damn about other peoples negative opinions of me. At my new school I tried to be friends with anyone and everyone that wanted and needed a friend. I can't say I wasn't perfect and didn't talk about people behind there backs, cause let's face it no one is that perfect but I did try. I would think to myself "how would I feel if someone said or did that to me?".

I have wondered many times who? Who decides all this popularity stuff? Who decides if you are friend material? Who decides whether or not your clothes are "cool"? Who decides if your pretty enough, or cute enough? Who decides if your thin enough? Who decides that color matters?Who decides what fads are in or out? One more question who decides when it's going to stop?

I am refusing to sit back and let my child get bullied because she is different. Look around people NO ONE person is EXACTLY the same, if we were what kind of world would we live in. Parents be a good example to your kids, don't make a snide comment about the clothes someone is wearing, or how big they are or because of what they look like, kids pick up on stuff like that and repeat it. People ask where is all the negativity towards people coming from? It's coming from parents who don't teach their kids any different, it's coming from parents that tell their kids to "suck it up" or"your exaggerating" when they get teased, stand by them teach them how to handle it, teach them that they don't have to take that crap but they can still be kind to those doing it to them. Teach them that they MATTER that you love them for who they are, teach them to love themselves. And to the parents of kids who are the ones teasing a bullying, LOVE them, show them that they are important, that they don't have to put others down to make themselves feel better.

I have been following a fantastic blog Single Dad Laughing, I have been inspired by him to put out my thoughts on bullying. Bullying of any kind should not be tolerated, I really like his post today called" Are we all talk, or are we going to fix this?" it's time to act and do something yo stop the bullying, it isn't going to fix it's self so I ask again, Who decides it's going to stop? Look in the mirror it has to start with you, whether you are the bully or the one being bullied, maybe you have never been bullied or teased but you have seen it happen and done nothing, it starts with you take a stand on it put being popular and fitting in on the back burning and put your feelings and others feelings first.